manuel of la brea

33

colder and colder

my mind is clouded with all that i feel.
nothing makes sense in your reply, i fear.
tears fall down onto the screen, wanting you back.
if i could redo everything, you wouldn’t lose track.

i fear of hurting you once more;
i’m overwhelmed with constant thoughts.
i miss you not only when i’m sober,
i also miss the happiness you once brought.

and i miss the way you laughed and smiled
in the bedsheets, we’re drinking a bottle of wine.
i’m not worthy of your love; i cannot lie.
but i want to wake up every morning knowing you’re mine.

i regret what i did, only if i tried harder.
but now it’s too late; it hurts too much.
your words are getting colder and colder,
can’t even see how you love me so much.