Rising From Ashes

Chapter 7 - Flight from Onderon

Ahsoka Tano

Lux and I had talked before when we were on Onderon. We were close then, and now that we've been alone here together, our relationship has been... blossoming. It's nice to have something to focus on other than the crushing depression strangling me. Lux is that, and when I'm around him, I feel... better.

It's hard when I'm alone. That's when I always start brooding, and hiding here on Onderon is hard. It's hard to blend in, to pretend to be normal, to try to hide. It doesn't really work.

Alema is with her family, but I worry about her constantly, obsessively. Anakin, too. He's in pain, sometimes, I felt it a week ago, though I haven't since. I'm just worried about him – the Sith could be hurting him, or he could've been hurt when he was being a Sith. I shouldn't have left. I knew it could go downhill easily, but I still chose to leave him, and I can't stop feeling like, somehow, this is at least partly my fault.

Which really, it was.

And... I can't help thinking if we had succeeded in ending Sidious, the galaxy itself would be in a much better place.

And Rex and all the clones, I don't know what's happening to them.

Some of the clones, at least, are going rogue. I met briefly with the Gerreras again. Saw told me that a group of clones was sent there by the Empire, but they moved before they could be found. I'm not sure how long it's safe for me to stay here, though. Considering there are already active rebel groups here, the longer I stay, the more dangerous it will become for all of us. And I can't be responsible for it if innocents here are hurt.

It's been a year since I first came to Onderon. It's fall now, though it's a bit cooler than I remember from before. Onderon time, actually, it's been over a year. Before it was late summer, and now, it's early fall.

"It's been a year since you came here to help us," Lux says, smiling, "I thought I should come over."

"Has it really?" I ask. It doesn't feel like that long. It feels like longer. "That was a while ago."

"I wanted to thank you," Lux replies, "For everything you did for us."

"It's what we do." I wish I could have done more. "Thank you for coming by."

"Of course," he replies, reaching out and taking my hand, interlinking our fingers. He's free with affection, and I'm glad he doesn't have a problem pursuing it. I don't, either, but still, I'm not always comfortable with it. "I was thinking I could take some time off and we could spend time together. It's hard to be away so much."

"The more time you spend here, the more danger it puts you in," I have to point out.

"It doesn't matter," he assures, and I don't know if it's better or worse that I can tell he means it. "I want to be with you."

My heart swells with adoration and gratitude. "Thank you."

"Of course, Ahsoka."

"I'm just afraid of where it could take us," I reply, "Not that I... don't want it. No one suspects you yet."

"They'll be watching me closely, if they aren't already," Lux answers, "Everyone knows I worked with the Gerreras. It's not hard to figure out that I still am, even if I'm being quiet about it right now. If not for the Jedi, I might have supported them myself, you know. But because of you, I know what's really happening."

I nod, crossing my arms. I don't want to think about what it'd mean if he did side with the Empire. It would be hard to say the least. It's bad enough the twins already do, and that's something I badly need to address eventually. I'm not about to tell Lux, though. I'm not telling anyone. I can't. "You're right," I agree, "This could be a lot worse than it is." I can't much see how, but I know it's true.