MC Quixote

Land of Saints and Strangers Part 46

Have you ever felt like a stranger? An outsider? A castaway, misfit, alien, freak? These labels seem to be thrown at me all the time here in Salt Lake and I don't think I'm really that weird.

It seems to be part of a bigger us/them worldview that comes out of fear. Maybe it's a persecution complex, or paranoia rooted in something from traumas from my past, or possibly from the past of this place. And I can't be sure how much of it comes from outside or from within. But all these traits seem to mirror something inside, like a fear of one's self, or the idea that one might turn on themselves, or betray some authentic part, compromising one's soul.

I've been trying to figure out why I've been placed so far on the "them" side up here in Utah. I remember the first time I realized my status as an "outsider", I had been in Salt Lake for about a month and it was time for me to register for high school. I was excited, it was my freshman year and things were starting to change; I was starting to move towards adulthood.

I was ready to meet with the school counselor and get registered for my classes. I had studied what would be my new high school's class catalog online back when I was in Mexico. I thought it was cool that they had a digital media program at this high school and I really wanted to get into some of those classes even though most of them weren't offered until sophomore year. I had a plan as to how I'd get into a digital media class: I would be a "new" student and I could tell the counselor that I'd already taken some media arts classes in Mexico, turn on the charm, and I'd be able to get in. But I had no idea what was coming, how could I have known? I wasn't yet aware of the "Us / Them" worldview in Utah.

So all of my excitement ended when I finally got into the counselor's office and he started to get me registered. I'll never forget how he started the process of putting me in classes, he looked away from his computer and our eyes met for the first time, then he said,

"Do you want to take Seminary?" I was confused, I asked,

"What's Seminary?" He looked disappointed and he said,

"Oh, you're not LDS?" I looked down at my hands to make sure this was really happening and without looking up I uttered the one syllable,

"No." It was all I could muster. All the excitement I had about freshman year suddenly left me.

This was the first time I remember being placed on "Team Strangers". I started to identify with this team and was dedicated to do my best to win this stupid game. That's the thing that bothers me about the "Us/Them" worldview, you start to see yourself as a "Them" rather than suffer the humiliation of not being picked to be on the "Us" team.

I quickly realized how "Thems" are more interesting and I had more in common with them, but I really don't even want to play the "Us / Them" game. I'm left with the constant feeling that the people here in Utah don't seem to get me, and I don't know why. It's been confusing because I've never had this problem before.

So, I've started to look for some answers by looking at history. I had a history teacher who always said.

"History can give us clues about the way things happen today."

Hmm, what is the history of this place, Salt Lake City, Utah. And I want to take a closer look at the Anglo history of the U.S., the history of the English speakers on this land; their culture has me perplexed.

The guy who gets credit for being the first Anglo settler in this valley is Brigham Young. A religious leader who was fleeing persecution and looking for a "promised land" for his people (The Mormons). His journey is very similar to Mosses, which is also similar to William Bradford of Mayflower, Pilgrim, Thanksgiving fame. See, I did learn something in my U.S. History class and some of it has given me clues about U.S. culture today.

I learned that the first successful English colony in the Americas was Jamestown, in present day Virginia. The name Virginia comes from The Virginia Trading Company. The Virginia Trading Company funded John Smith's trip as a business opportunity. Business was fundamental to this first English colony and it's probably the most fundamental part of U.S. culture. Maybe that's kind of obvious, but the second successful English colony had a different motivation, which seems to relate to another side of U.S. culture: religion.

This second English colony in the Americas was the Plymouth Colony, located in present day Massachusetts. Most of these early colonists were Puritans, which is a strict version of Christianity. The Puritans were looking for a place where they could practice their religion. This motivation was very similar to what motivated the Mormons circa 1848 to settle in what becomes Salt Lake City, Utah.

I found some other parallels too, it turns out that these Puritans called themselves "Saints" and Mormons call themselves, "Latter Day Saints"- kind of the same idea.

I was surprised to learn that when the Puritans came to the Americas on the Mayflower there were some on the boat who weren't Puritans, maybe adventurers, businessmen, desperados. The Puritans called these people "Strangers".

I've been stuck on this idea for a while now because that's how I feel when I'm around Mormons. Mormons treated me like a possible convert first, but once they figured out I wasn't interested, they treated me like a stranger. I guess I started flying the flag that I wasn't interested after I got tired of the condescending converters bugging me, yea, they come at you pretty hard that they've got the answers. Always made me feel like, "You have no idea what I even come from."

The Us / Them paradigm seems extreme. And on the Mayflower, even more extreme, 117 people on a fairly small boat, crossing the Atlantic Ocean together, which took about two months, and they end up segregated themselves into two groups: "Saints" and "Strangers"?

That's kind of how things shake down here in Salt Lake; a small boat, with Saints and Strangers.