MC Quixote

ICE Melts MC Quixote's Dream: Mixtape Part 53

A mixtape found in his jeans
My MC Quixote
Couldn't save him from his dreams
Deaf to the politics that kill
Deaf to borderlines
Deaf to the no's and the warning signs
Dad is gone now
beyond the sublime
ICE called with a friendly tone
"Could you put MC Quixote on the phone?"
At that moment
Alone
The inhumanity of immigration policy
Shown
At that moment everything on hold
Suspended,
A pause, a breath, a moan
"Señor Cervantes is dead."
"And his grave is marked
Unknown."
ICE couldn't have been more polite
"If you're related, there's just this little oversight,
Señor Cervantes was buried last night."
"If you're related, we'd like to talk,
Do you have proper papers?
To walk,
On this side?"
"If you don't it's a crime,
And you will pay
With your father's blood,
And sisters' blood, and mother's blood, and brothers' blood too."
"And there's something else you must do."
"Here are the charges for your daddy's funeral:
The grave was dug with your labor
We stole the plot from your neighbor
We got the smoking gun
This war's been long won
Now your father is buried here
And you'll have the right to visit
In a couple years
If the dreamers don't give in to
Fear"
The dream is dead
The dreamers fled
They packed their broken hearts
And took
Their humanity
Where it could be fed
And with this void what remains?
It melts ICE
Floods the plains
Rises over lady liberty
And the Golden Gate
All they got now is
To swim in their own
hate

I start to free-fall, laid out on Tammy's couch in her front room, just floating in empty space, a shock wave paralyzes my body. Tammy can feel this wave that's somehow rooted in silence, a vacuum of pain that sucks up all the space in the room and Tammy is pulled toward me, right underneath me, breaking my fall to unconsciousness. Sleep. But I stay silent, I can't let Tammy know.

What in the fuck was he thinking? Why did he risk it? Why am I so stupid to try and find Sancho and end up losing the most important being in my life. Alone now, no dad, no dog, nobody, suspended outside of time, all is lost, the futility of this dream, just buried somewhere in the desert, deserted dream, dead, he's dead, Dad is dead.

Totally oblivious to my reality, Tammy suddenly starts shouting,

"There's Sancho!" "There he is!" "That's him."

She gets up out of her office chair to retrieve her phone and returns to the computer screen and starts to put in some numbers on her phone.

I can't feel anything anymore, I'm just inert on Tammy's couch, staring at the ceiling.

"This guy's up in Olympus Cove, looks like he has Sancho at his house. We need to get up there!" "I'm gonna call him first... Looks like his name is Charlie." "I'm calling him, right now."

But me, I still can't move, totally numb, Tammy has no clue why I'm not reacting to her news. She keeps on task, focused.

"Hello, is Charlie home?" "Yes, his name is Sancho." "Is he O.K.?" "Awesome, that's great news and we need some good news today." "O.K. we'll be up there as soon as possible; we just need your address." "Yes, OK, yea, got it. Adonis Lane, OK, see you soon Mr. Wallace, thank you, thank you, yes thank you."

"OK Caylee, let's go get him, get your shoes on, sounds like he landed pretty well, Olympus Cove, living the high life, good for Sancho." "Come on! Let's go, we got him, we got Sancho! Mission accomplished, let's go, let's go!"

Somehow, I start moving towards vertical, kind of entranced, I put on my shoes and my body slowly becomes more and more animated. I'm still F-ed up, but it's as if I don't want to bring Tammy down, I don't want to ruin her moment of redemption. I play along, even though I'm dead to everything. "Dad is Dead." Is the mantra running through my head, through my being, through my soul. But I'll try to fake this heroic rescue of Sancho; which is probably not even in his best interest at this point. I can fake-out Tammy, but there's no way Sancho won't feel my loss; Sancho will sense my "Dad is dead." single directedness, Sancho might already know Dad is dead.

And this realization moves me, moves my shell of a body towards Tammy's car, and there's a hope deep inside me that maybe Sancho will get this loss and I won't have to say a word. I know that he'll emotionally be there, and so there's one thing left to consider, do I infect him with my Dad is Dead disease or let him enjoy the good life up in Olympus Cove?

And who is this Charlie Wallace? Is he a Tammy-like geüro with a heart? He's had Sancho for almost five days and he hasn't given up looking for his rightful owner, why? Living above everything in his uppercrust beautiful home with electronic gated entry, brick pathways, new SUVs, and an extra long RV parked on the extra long cement pad, next to the quaint mansion up on the hill. Looks like Sancho did land very well, very well indeed.

So why recover my dog when this life looks so much better than what he'll have with me? I've done what I need to, Sancho would be more than fine here and probably a lot better off, maybe I can broker some type of an adoption deal with Mr. Wallace, set up Sancho, and get back home.

A large U.S. flag is flying right above the surveillance camera at the front gate. Tammy rings the bell and inquires about Sancho, with that cold digital eye looking down on us, the electronic gate starts to open, and I keep wondering, who's Charlie Wallace?

And there he is; Sancho, running out of the front door of this palace at full speed, looking freshly groomed and well-fed, he about knocks me down and we just commune by rolling around on the perfectly manicured front lawn.

Then, something comes out from deep inside me, some kind of flood gate opens and this dam breaks, and I start to sob, just holding Sancho and releasing some of the horrible realization that Dad is dead. Dad is dead flows out of me in waves of tears, I convulse into Sancho's coat, his fur now wet and matted into swirls pressing spiral patterns into my cheek. I'm marked, changed, chained to this tragedy, wet dog.

--- Fin ---