Taylor Swift Imagines - Book Five (gxg)

postpartum depression (requested)

Taylor peeked inside the nursery to make sure that the baby was still sound asleep before she walked across the hall to your shared bedroom.

She had a plate of food in her hand that she made just for you.

It's your favorite and she made it special for you, hoping that you'd eat it.

"Darling, I made you some dinner!" She happily said as she set the plate down on the bed in front of you.

"I'm not hungry." You quietly mumbled and Taylor's heart started to ache once again.

"Are you sure? You haven't been eating much since coming home from the hospital. I can't get you to eat more than once a day."

You shrugged your shoulders wordlessly, almost as if saying that it was what it was.

But Taylor was struggling to see you this way.

She knows you have postpartum depression, she already had a chat with your doctor about it.

After the birth of your little girl, who was just a week old today, you seemed to be overcome with an intense depression.

According to your doctor, it was much more common than Taylor thought.

But seeing you struggle so much has been so hard on her.

"Can I get you anything else? Do you just not want this? I can order some takeout."

You shook your head.

"Okay." She said, swallowing the lump in her throat. "How about we skip dinner and have some dessert tonight instead?"

"I told you, Taylor. I'm not hungry."

You were a little more stern this time around, speaking almost as if you were upset with her.

"I know but... I'm scared, Y/N. You're not eating the way you should be. I know it's because you have postpartum but you have to take care of yourself. Our baby depends on you!"

You looked at her with sad eyes and she let out a heavy sigh before sitting beside you.

"I shouldn't have snapped at you, I'm sorry." She said. "But please understand that this is very worrying for me. You're not eating, baby. You're not taking care of yourself or the baby."

"I'm a horrible mother." You suddenly sobbed.

"No!" She quickly said. "No, my baby, you are not a terrible mother! I promise you that."

"I know I'm so out of it right now. I don't know what happened. I loved being pregnant and the day she was born was the best day of my entire life. But then, we came home and something changed. I don't deserve to be her mom. She's such a sweet, precious little girl and she deserves better than me."

"That's crazy talk, baby." She said as she hugged you close. "Not the part of you struggling, of course. But the last part. You're a fantastic mom. She's so lucky to call you her mom, just like I'm lucky to call you my wife."

You sniffled as you stared at her with tears in your eyes.

"I just feel so down all the time. I don't feel like me."

"That's normal, baby. So much has changed. That's part of postpartum depression. Everything you feel and experience is part of it." She said as she rubbed your back comfortingly.

"I love being her mother. I adore her so much. She's my whole world. Being a mom is amazing. I just don't understand why I don't feel joy about it all the time."

"You and I both know that it's not you, it's just the postpartum." She said. "As I said, it's normal, baby. It will get better, I promise."

She dried your eyes and kissed the corners of your lips.

"We can find a way to make things better. We will get through this." She promised. "Everything will be okay, I promise you, darling. But I need you to know that just because you're having a hard time right now doesn't mean you're a bad mother. Because you aren't."

You smiled a little.

"You're an amazing mom and an amazing wife. I'm lucky to be able to love you and so is our daughter. I know you love her so much."

"I love you both more than anything else in this world." You spoke.

"I know. And we love you too."

You put your head on her shoulder and held her tight.

"Don't be so hard on yourself, okay? We're still adjusting and your body has been through so much. Let's take it easy, take baby steps as we heal and get better."

"Okay." You agreed.

"And just so you know, I'll be here by your side through it all. Even at your lowest, you're still safe and loved. Okay? You're doing a great job and I am so proud of you."

She kissed your lips lovingly as she held you close.

"Thank you, baby."

She smiled and leaned in to kiss you again, only for your little girl to start fussing.

"I'll get her. Can you eat?"

"Yeah, I'll eat. But can you bring her here? I want to hold her and give her some kisses."

Taylor went bright-eyed and quickly nodded her head.

You pulled the plate closer and started to eat a little and she breathed out a sigh of relief before going to get your daughter.

Returning a second later, she watched your eyes light up for the first time in so long as soon as you saw your little girl.

"Come here." You said as Taylor gently placed her in your arms.

She sat down beside you and put her hand on your back, watching with a happy feeling in her heart as you ate and paid attention to your daughter, who had stopped fussing and was content in your arms.

You're a great mother to the little girl you share and Taylor will never stop reminding you of that, especially when you're at your lowest.