Sheila Peters has the dream life everyone wants but things aren't really as they seem, she suffers in silence while the world admires her life, she lives a life where she just wants to be loved genuinely but would she ever find the kind of love tha...
ANDREA "Here you go ", Andrea said handing some files to her secretary, Andrea was currently working in a law firm , she had gone back to school after giving birth to Beatrice with few friends from church helping her watch over Beatrice, she wasn't the best in her field but she was proud of herself for not giving up after having Beatrice, Beatrice had made her know a different definition of love, when she had given birth to Beatrice, she was shocked at the love that could emanate out of her being for a little baby with tiny feet and little fingers, her baby was so important to her and though most men had pulled back from her after discovering she was a single mum, she wasn't going to get married to any man that wouldn't accept Beatrice as part of her life, and if no man ever came then no problem, it was just going to be her and Beatrice for life. ****** Andrea ate alone that night , Beatrice was at a sleepover party at one of her church member's house, she was with her dear friend Alice, Alice had three daughters whom Beatrice was very close to, sometimes they rotated it amongst themselves , though the sleepover mostly occurred in Alice's house, Alice had been a huge support to her since she first moved to Oklahoma , the two had bonded quite well and were very good friends, Alice had helped her see God in a different light than what she had always thought of him and she was so grateful to her, though Alice asked Andrea to do the one thing she was still struggling with...forgive Nathan and give Beatrice the chance to see her father but Andrea didn't know what to do, she thought back to the time that changed everything between she and Nathan, the time her hatred for him began.
ANDREA - 20 Andrea had flown from Tennessee to Alabama just to see Nathan, call her foolish but she was very in love. She had hid this decision from her parents but she had been saving for it, and she felt things were getting more strained between her and Nathan, it was probably the long distance that was affecting their relationship, she knew everything about Nathan, she knew of the apartment he had gotten off campus close to the University of Alabama, she smiled as she carried her bag with her filled with few clothes, she knew his door, He had told her when she asked him jokingly but she knew he never thought her capable of coming, so he had said it jokingly, Andrea was attending the University of Tennessee, her parents didn't want her far away from them,and she knew it was because she was their only child and daughter. She finally got to her destination and was shocked to see the door was slightly ajar, why would Nathan leave his door open, she entered in, closing the door quietly behind her, they had done many video calls together so she kind of knew her way around, she saw that everywhere was quiet and saw that the bedroom door was slightly ajar, she smiled walking closer to it, Nathan was going to be in for a shock but on the contrary she was the one who was in for a shock as she saw Nathan with another guy on the bed ,they were both kissing each other and making out, Andrea screamed.
Nathan turned his face towards her and looked shocked to see her.
"Samuel...didn't you lock the door".
"Seems like I forgot again...sorry babe...who's she ?".
"She's.....just a good friend of mine".
"Good friend", Andrea gasped, " Nathan, we have left the friendship stage, we have been dating for about six months now...Nathan..,don't tell me you were playing with my feelings".
"Seems like you have it really bad...I would leave now", Samuel said getting off the bed and wearing his clothes, Andrea looked at both of them in disgust, Samuel finally left leaving both of them in the room.
"Explain...", Andrea said folding her hands together.
"I am attracted to guys Andrea". "So when you told me you loved me...you didn't mean it", Andrea said as tears poured forth out of her eyes.
"I am sorry Andrea...I don't see you in that light".
"So why lead me on...why did you have sex with me Nathan".
"I thought I could force myself to feel something for you...but it just wasn't happening". "So I was like a toy to you".
"Andrea..believe me I love you Andrea but it's like you are my sister.....I didn't want to break your heart by telling you that I didn't feel the same way".
"So you lied to me....and have been sleeping with other guys behind my back...",Andrea began clapping, "Bravo...you really played your cards well....I really was a fool....but not again Nathan.....today marks an end in whatsoever relationship I thought we had together". Andrea said walking out of the room but Nathan's hands stopped her, he walked to her front, "I am sorry Andrea....you know I would never hurt you intentionally and I do love you with all my heart".
"I know...but like a sister...at least I know where I stand ", Andrea walked out that night with Nathan's pleas behind her, her mind was made up, this was truly the end of their love story. ******* Andrea brought out some tissue paper and wiped her tears away, why did Nathan keep the fact that he was gay away from her...why, but how could she ask that to a man who was many miles away from her. It was three weeks after that she discovered she was pregnant and had to drop out of school, her parents gave her a hard choice to make, abort the baby or have her and drop out of school, she choose the latter and moved to Oklahoma. NATHAN "Mum...but why does God give me these feelings you know....the same sex attraction, I mean if it wasn't according to his will, why let it remain in me", Nathan asked his mum that evening months after her moving in to his house, his mum had apologized and to be honest even if he didn't want to forgive her, he had no one around but her.
"Son , God doesn't give us those feelings of same sex attraction, we live in a fallen world so it's bound to happen....but you know what...that's why Jesus came....to help us live above desires contrary to what he has designed our lives to be like".
"And how does he do that mum?".
"He has done that already son....Galatians 2:20 says my old self has been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me. So I live in this earthly body by trusting in the son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me".
"So I live by trusting in what Jesus did for me".
"Yes son...you see when Jesus died on the cross, he wasn't alone , our old self, our flesh, our sinful nature, also was crucified with him and when he rose up, we rose up too with him to a new man, and Christ now lives in us working in us to will and to do..you just have to trust him...when you got born again..your spirit was made anew but your mind wasn't, so it has to be renewed to know the reality of the life you received....and how do you do that...by meditating on God's word and asking him for strength...he is more than willing to help you son...for we do not have a high priest who can't understand our weaknesses ...we have one who was tempted but was without sin and he is more than willing to help you". His mum left him alone as he bowed his head to pray , he was tired of running away from God, tired of holding tight to his own wisdom....he was going to trust God , he was going to trust that his ways were wiser than his own ways and his thoughts for him were always good and not of evil.
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