Decisions. {Continuation of GO s2}

6: Fear & Hurt

Crowley:

When Crowley woke up, he was, once again, alone.

But he didn't want to think about that anymore, so he decided to get ice cream by the place he and Aziraphale once got some after they prevented Armageddon.

He decided to get the one Aziraphale got back then, but when he turned around he felt a déjà vu coming towards him.

He turned to his side and yep, sure enough, beside him was Aziraphale. 'Look, angel, I just-'

No, something was very wrong about him. Crowley turned away from him for a second, and suddenly he found himself on a chair.

In Heaven. It was the same one he sat on as Aziraphale, moments before Gabriel told him to 'shut his stupid mouth and die already'.

The other Archangels were standing a few feet away from him, but Aziraphale was nowhere to be seen.

He sighed. 'Am I being executed again?'

'Oh, certainly not, my dear. Quite the opposite.'

That was Aziraphale. Crowley turned to him, panicking, although he was not sure why.

Aziraphale walked in front of him, looking down at him.

'Angel? Angel, what are you doing?' It was obvious that Crowley was panicking.

'Oh, Crowley. Don't be scared.' Aziraphale smiled, but it wasn't the comforting one Crowley fell in love with.

It looked rather unsettling, it looked almost like the one Gabriel gave him all those years back, before pushing him into hellfire.

'Aziraphale?'

No answer. No movement.

'Aziraphale?!' Crowley was beginning to get frustrated.

'Listen, Crowley.' He put his hand on Crowley's cheek.

'We can be together again! As angels! We can make a difference. I love you, Crowley. I love you so much. And I forgive you! You don't have to be a demon anymore! Imagine what it would have been like all those centuries if you were an angel.'

'What is wrong with you? I don't want that! I don't want to go back to Heaven. Aziraphale, I'm on my side.'

'You just don't remember how good Heaven is! You fell so long ago! Why don't you want to reverse it?!'

'Reverse it? Angel, listen to me-!'

'Oh, but I remember! I remember your expression after you built that wonderful Nebula! I remember it all...'

Aziraphale seemed to love those memories more than anything else.

'What...?'

'Crowley, you were never happier than in that moment!' Aziraphale seemed to be pleading him. 'And I remember you talking about the suggestion box! Now that I'm in charge, I can put it up!'

Crowley was shocked. But more than anything else, he was deeply hurt.

The angel he loved so dearly didn't love him, he loved what he once was. He fell in love with the memories of Crowley before the Fall.