Game On || C.L.16

4.3

Tears stream down my face as I lower my body into my bath tub. The difficulty of making an appointment with my therapist still in my mind. I had called her, and she had managed to put me into her schedule later today. But as I was freaking out, she recommended me taking a bath to calm me down.

I didn't really want to, I wanted to go out for a run. Run until I could feel my lungs burning. And while that was all I wanted to do, I knew I'd probably be spotted. Those Tweets would end up with the club, and I'd be out of a spot for who knows how long.

So I did as recommended and filled up my bath tub with scorching hot water to give my body some kind of challenge. I must admit it didn't feel good immediately, but as the water surrounded my body I could feel my muscles relaxing.

I still haven't heard a thing from Charles, Arthur, Pierre or Lila. I have tried contacting them, but clearly they don't want to talk to me. I wouldn't want to talk to me if I had been treated like that. I was seriously alone in this, which is why I brought a book with me in the bath tub. The only thing that seems to be able to get me out of my thoughts besides exercising has always been reading. But I feel like exercising helps me better than this.

After the very hot bath, I drag myself to my therapist's office. It's really been a while since I'd been here, knocking on the door making me even more nervous.

"Amelie, good to see you!" Jessica's cheerful voice says to me as she extends her hand for me to shake.

"Hi," I answer softly, following her into the office.

"Come and sit please." Jessica's office wasn't like your typical therapist's office. It was more like a living room, a comfortable place to speak about all that you don't want to speak about. I choose to sit in the love seat, pulling my knees up to my chest. Taking a guarded position, probably showing Jessica all that she needed to know. "So let's start with why you are here. Could you explain what events led to you being here in my office today?"

I sigh deeply, before explaining to Jessica. "PSG is forcing me, along with my friends. They think I'm relapsing."

"Do you know any of the reasons why they would think something like that? It's a pretty big thing to say." Jessica says softly, clearly not satisfied with my compact answer.

"I think I know." I say fumbling with a bracelet on my wrist. "I have added a third work out to my daily routine."

"And why exactly have you done that?"

I can feel the tears coming up in my eyes again. "Because I felt insecure, I felt like I needed to be perfect. Perfect for Charles so that what happened before won't happen again." 

"Do you know why you feel like you have to be perfect?" 

"I don't know really." I twist the bracelet around my wrist once again, lightly scratching the skin below it. "Maybe because I'm really enjoying what we've got going on? I just don't want to happen between his brother and I to happen to us. "

"You've dated his brother before, right?" I nod softly. "Have you spoken to Arthur about why your relationship ended? Maybe you two can talk about that, and it'll help you decide whether that could happen to you and Charles too." 

"I highly doubt that." I counter, Jessica looking at me as if I'm coming up with excuses so I continue to explain. "We hadn't spoken in a while, but we've rekindled. He claims he's still in love with me, so I highly doubt talking about this topic with him is a smart move to make." 

"Are you?"

"Am I what?" 

"Are you still in love with him too?" I chuckle at the stupidity of the question.