Broken but beautiful (in other way)

Chapter 4💔

Sana steps in to her house..but was only met by her tensed father...who had tears in his eyes.. caressing her face lovingly and asked, "Baccha tu kaha thi..kal raat se Tera phone off tha..pata hai Puri raat nahi so paya tere baare mein sochkar..aise apne papa ko Bina bataye koi akele jaata hai?"to which Sana wipped his tears and said, "Papa don't worry main apne Art gallery se sidha dost ke Ghar gayi thi..aur wahi time spend Kiya..aur ha phone ka battery bhi khatam hogayi thi.. isliye aapko bol nahi paayi... sorry"

"Baccha koi baat nahi ..aage se dhyaan rakhna..tujhe toh pata hi hai na..tere maa ke jaane ke baad tu hi mere liye sabse kimti hai..agar tujhe kuch hogaya toh mein jee nahi paunga kabhi bhi"said her father with broken voice getting emotional..

"Papa mat royiye aap..dekhiye main hoon na..kahi bhi chor kar nahi jaungi..humesha aapke pass hi rahungi..."saying so Sana hugged her father lovingly while her father too reciprocated the hug with same feelings..

After few moments , they broke the hug..
"Baccha tu fresh hoja ..tere liye khana lekar aata hu mein.."said her father and was going to kitchen..only to be stopped by Sana ..who said, "Papa mere dost ki maa ne breakfast karwakar hi bheja hai..aap bilkul bhi tension na lo..aur aaram se hospital jayiye..main thik se rahungi"

"Thik hai baccha tu Aram kar ..main tere se shaam ko milunga..phir hum dono baap beti kahi bahar jayenge..thik hai?"said her father caressing her cheeks lovingly...

"Papa aaj ka din skip kar de..asal mein I am not feeling good..so Ghar par hi rahungi"said Sana to which her father got tensed and started checking her temperature..

"Baccha tujhe bukhar toh nahi hai..kitne baar kaha hai ki ache se khana khaya kar par nahi..papa ki baat toh nahi Sunni...apni marzi karni hai..arey aise apna khayal rakhegi toh do din bhi thik nahi reh payegi.."scolded her father getting stressed for his daughter 's health..

"Papa don't worry..Aaj just Ghar par rehna hai..man nahi hai"said Sana assuring him of her health..to which her father sighed in relief..but sensed.. something was bothering his daughter.. she was not in her usual self today..but decided not to ask further questions, rather will have a conversation at evening...

"Thik hai baccha tu ja..room mein aaram kar ..main chalta hoon"saying so her father goes from here..but not before kissing her forehead lovingly...

Sana directly goes to her room and falls on her bed lifelessly.. looking at the wall in front..while tears continuously rolling of her eyes...

"Kitna aasan haina jisko aap pyaar karne ka daawa karte ho..jiske saath saat Janam saath nibhane ka wada karte ho..use ek hi baar mein kisi dusre ke liye bhul jana?"said Sana to herself looking towards the wall with pained face and broken voice...

She got up...and took her phone, opened her and Rahul's pic and started talking to it angrily..."Mere pyaar mein kya Kami rehgayi thi Rahul .. Jo tumne kisi dusre ke liye mujhe chod diya?Was I not compatible for you..kya I was not deserving enough to be your wife..?Kyun..kyun tumne mujhe akele chor diya...kya kuch nahi diya maine tumhe..even apni vir..gi..nity..bhi"saying so Sana started to cry throwing the phone away...

"How fool I was ki maine shadi se pehle hi use apni kimti cheez dedi..papa ko toh humare baare mein kuch bhi nahi pata..unhe kitna bharosa hai mujhpar ki unki beti kuch galat nahi kar sakti..par unhe kya pata unki beti ne kisi ke  pyaar mein pagal hokar use apna sab kuch ujhar kardiya..."said Sana to herself.. feeling angry on herself too..to have  fallen into love trap of a person..who doesn't deserves her love ..her virginity..her everything...

But suddenly Sid's face came to her mind..and she started thinking ..how Sid helped her..how he stood by her during her breakdown..how he is still an innocent child ..how pure hearted he is..
She smiled remembering him..but suddenly she became serious and thought. "Sab dhokha hai..sab sab Maya hai..I should not fall in this trap...yes dost ban sakti hoon..but not more than that...mein phirse heartbreak sehen nahi kar paungi..utni takat nahi hai ki..phirse apne aapko tootne ke gam se bhar nikal pau..agar phirse mujhe pyaar mein dhokha Mila toh I will not live in this world..main mar jaungi..isse behtar ab hi apne emotions ko control karlu..nahi toh baad mein it will destroy me..it will effect my mental health.."

Suddenly Sana felt nauseous thinking about Sid...and without waiting..she directly goes into washroom..and vomits her guts out...

After making herself stable..she washed her face..and came to her room slowly..
"Pata nahi yeh ulti kyun hui..aur shar bhi bahut chakkar kha raha hai...kahi..kahi main jo soch rahi hoon ...woh toh nahi "thought Sana getting tensed..and without wasting anytime she directly goes out..and buys pregnancy kit from nearby medical hall..and comes back to her room..
She directly goes to the washroom and checks it..the result shows positive...she became numb seeing the result..and lifelessly falls on her knees..
"Finally you are successful Mr.Rahul Goenka..to destroy me completely...mujhe pregnant karke khud chale gaye apni nayi zindagi bitaane...ab main kya karu...kaise sabko batau mere pregnancy ke baare mein...pyaar karke itni bari sazaa bhugatni paregi meine kabhi socha hi nahi tha"said Sana to herself looking aimlessly.. unknowingly kept her hand on her flat belly and caressed it slowly with tears rolling of her eyes...

She stood up with great difficulty and goes to her room..she sits down beside her bed.. holding the handle she started crying leaning against it...

"Sab kuch barbaad hogaya..meri zindagi khatam kardi tumne Rahul..I hate you ...I hate you to the core ..par usse pehle mujhe khud se nafrat hai ..ki main pyaar mein pagal hokar tumhe sab kuch dediya...aur ab anjaam bhi bhugat rahi hoon..main tumhare Ghar jaakar is bacche ka haq bhi maang sakti hoon..par yeh main nahi karungi kyunki kisi ke Ghar parivaar ko todne ki sanskaar mujhe mere maa baba ne nahi di hai...par I promise..tumhari parchayi apne andar pal rahi bacche par nahi parne dungi...Papa se kehna parega..aur agar papa bhi accept nahi karenge..toh khud apne kamayi se apne bacche ko palungi par..ise apne se dur nahi karungi..aakhir uparwale ne kuch sochkar hi ise mujhe saupa hai...aur ab mujhe khud hi is society se larna hoga..is bacche ko ek zindagi Dene ke liye...."said Sana wipping her tears with a determination to now fight with every problems with head high and confidence..she have to deal with whatever coming to her path in front..and if it is being isolated from society ..then let it be..she have to be strong for her baby atleast..and promised to never fall in love with anyone atleast in this life.... because falling in love has only given her a bigger pain to bare for life...she remember this heartbreak through end of her life...

She kept her hand upon her belly and whispered looking infront while keeping a huge stone upon her heart with painful tears rolling of her eyes....
"Pyaar ho ya dost..ek din tumhe yaad dila hi deti hai ki is zindagi mein tum akele hi ho..aur is zindagi ko chor kar tum akele hi jaoge..."