One more hand to hold [ Sunflower / Sunny x Basil ]

"Friends"

I've been writing in this diary for a while.

It's just something to document my feelings, keep track of everything. But more often, the feelings and most of the pages list sunny.

I've had a small crush on sunny lately. Not just lately, about since I met him. Sunny just makes me feel so human, and I can talk to him about anything and everything.

Except my feelings for him.

June 13th

The group decided to get together today and sit at our old hangout spot. Sunny was there, I mean, what would the group be without sunny?  I kept covering up my face since sunny looked so cute...

- - * - -

"Ack! Why'd I write that in pen!" I cover my face in embarrassment.

"Ugh... it's... Oh shit- it's 10pm..." I look at the clock. "I guess I should get to sleep." I lay my head on my pillow and roll over, but I can't sleep. I'm only thinking about sunny.

"Just fall asleep, basil" I mutter to myself.

- - * - -

I hear a faint knock on my door, I look up trying to open my tired eyes. I rub my eyes. "Yes? Who is it?" I said very softly. I see a black haired boy open the door, specifically the back haired boy I like, Sunny.

"O-oh! Sunny, what are you doing here at this time?" I say nervously to him. "I don't really know" he answers. I see him eyeing my diary. "Junk by basil?" Sunny says out loud. I look at the notebook wide eyed.

"Hah... it's nothing.." I reply, throwing it under my bed. "Oh- ok. Well, I was wondering, do you wanna hang out later?" He asks. I sit there, spacing out.

Hang out, what if he says he's in a relationship with some girl? What if he's saying he hates me...? What if... he confesses to me..

My face turns bright red and I fluster up.

"You ok, basil?" Sunny asks, sounding half worried. I uncover my face. "Yeah! Yeah! I'm ok!" I sweat and brush off my face. "I'll get changed and I'll go with you" I reply. Sunny closes the door.

I change my clothes quickly and open the door, sunny standing next to the hallway doorframe. "I'm ready to go!" I say excitedly. Sunny nods. We walk out my door and make our way to the park.

My hand slightly touches Sunny's. I immediately flinch and pull my arm away.

We get to the park and sit on the swings. I just slowly swing back and fourth while sunny goes up really high, it worries me. "Don't flip over!" I yell. Sunny giggles.

"You understand me so much, basil, it's fun being friends with you!" Sunny exclaims.

Friends.

Friends.

Friends.

That's the one thought rushing through my mind right now.

Friends.

I actually thought me and sunny could be more than friends. I guess I was wrong, he only sees me as a friend. He sees me as basically nothing. Nothing at all, just one person he knows since he was small.

To me, sunny is my world. Sunny is who I want to grow old with. The most perfect person in the world. The boy that I love, but I'd never tell him that. He'd hate me. Probably even stop being... friends..with me.

"You ok?" "You keep zoning out." I see sunny right in front of my face, I fluster up and fall backwards into the playground sand. "Sunny! You scared me!" I cover my face in embarrassment.

"Sorry!" He laughs a bit, sunny lifts me up. "T-thanks..." I reply.

- - * - -

Me and sunny sit at a bench, i try to stir up a conversation.

"Hey sunny..." I ask.

"Yeah?" He says.

"Do you ever think about... girls.."