One more hand to hold [ Sunflower / Sunny x Basil ]

Unaware

I slowly close my eyes to fall asleep, until my thoughts burst me up. Again, sunny.. but this time, it's thoughts of failure.

Oh he'll hate you.
Sunny won't like you back
He'll ditch you for his crush
Sunny is only interested in girls.
Aubrey will tell him
And so will Kel

I brush away those thoughts, all though I'm already hyperventilating, I try to calm myself down. But that can't help. I wish sunny was here right now. I grab my journal and write on the small empty space on the "June 15th" page.

Sunny... I need you right now... I need your warm hugs.. I need your soft,silky hair... I need you. You provide me free serotonin. Your the one person who comforts me when I'm down, the one I can trust... I'd spend all my time with you if I could..

I write all of that in very messy handwriting, my hands shaking. At least a normal person could see what I'm saying- I don't want anyone to read it though.

I toss the pen right next to my journal and breathe steadily. I quickly close my eyes and imagine sunny is hugging me, comforting me, whispering that it'll all be ok.

- - * - -

I fell asleep on my floor last night, thinking about sunny.

Oh, now I remember. Me and him are having a sleepover here tonight. I should probably Organize some stuff so he can sleep somewhere..

Unless he wants to sleep in my bed, which is completely ok! He says that my bed is very comfortable so whatever he wants to, I'm ok with- I don't wanna make him not like me.

I quickly run out the door without any words. I go to Sunnys house and greet him. "So when do you wanna come over?" I ask him. He looks like he's thinking for a second.

"Maybe 6 o'clock" he mutters. I nod. "Well, I'm gonna get going. I have a lot to do today!" That was a lie. I have nothing to do today, I'm not busy and it's 1pm already.

I walk home happily. I don't have to tell sunny anything. He won't know that I like him, it'll just be a normal sleepover.. unless he cuddles with me.. which will be awkward but enjoyable. Wait- I can't zone out.

He's too unaware to know, I'll just play it along. As well as it's going, I'll just tell him sometime in the future. I don't wanna tell him too soon, it'll be too fast, but I don't wanna tell him too late, cause then he'll probably have gotten a different partner.

Ok, but I have to focus on the big picture here. It's not like he can read my mind.

But one word struck me. Something Aubrey said.

"Lover boy"

Am I really that noticeable when it comes to sunny? Can people tell I have a crush on him? That would make it even weirder.. I just hope Aubrey didn't tell him how I felt. He would ditch me.

Ok, I'm horrible at thinking on the bright side... I just need to wait for time to pass by and I'll be happy.