Eren Pierce Salazar

Kabanata 19

''Do you believe me now?'' he asked me while brushing my hair gently.

Nakahiga ako sa kama pagkatapos kong mag-night bath. We weren't finished clearing things about us; naputol lang kami nang biglang sumakit ang tiyan ko kanina, he made me rest first because he told me everything.

I bit my lower lip. habang nakatingin sa tv kong nakapatay naman. Mukhang nakita niya ang pagkagat ko sa labi dahil bumuntong hininga siya.

''Clea went to me first; she knows I have feelings for you. We eventually became lovers, but I knew, you were the one I loved, and I was just angry with you for pushing me away. I'm angry and jealous because you can't even look into my eyes during those times na palagi kang umiiwas sa akin at sumasama sa mga ka-edad mong lalaki. I felt betrayed. I was hurt, especially when I heard the escort thing. You were in your 4th year back then, and I was an intern teacher at the university. I was so mad; that's why I entered into a relationship with Clea, but I just couldn't see myself with her even after 3 years of having a relationship with her. I tried forcing it; I tried giving almost everything to her, but it just doesn't work like that, and I didn't want to fool her anymore, so I decided to break up with her, at that time, you were going 18. I wanted to try pursuing you but I impregnated you. You were so angry with it, na parang ayaw mo sa anak natin and I was so mad at you. I know I can't just justify what I did; that's why ginawa ko lahat para lang mapawi lahat ng sakit na ibinigay ko sa'yo kahit pakiramdam kong imposible.

''It wasn't like a real escort thing like I fucked anyone. I just escorted a governor's son so he would have a partner at parties'' I mumbled.

He sighed again, now deeply and problematically.

''I don't know about that. I hated you because of that, and just that day, I insulted you without even thinking. It wasn't intentional, but it was the first time you talked to me or looked at me. I know it was a very disrespectful and immature reason, but I made it a way for you to look at me, and then before your debut, I already told Clea I didn't want to continue that, and besides, I'm already old. I don't want to do childish things anymore, so I cleared it also because it was the time I dared to pursue you because you were already of legal age, but things came up. My hatred was gone before your debut but came back when you said you didn't want the baby. It was painful even though it wasn't our intention, kasi dugo nating dalawa iyon. I felt like the little Maria who loved me and promised to marry me doesn't like or love me anymore''

I could sense the sadness in his voice, and it was also heartbreaking for me because I was guilty. I don't like the baby at first, but as time goes by. Nagawa kong mahalin ang anak namin.

''I never did plan things like that with Clea. I swear, in my whole life, maybe she misunderstood what I said...''

Tumingin ako pataas at nagkasalubong ang mga mata namin. He smiled at me, just like how the gentle and beautiful sun raises on the hirozon.

''I said if ever you wouldn't really like our child before you give birth and you just want to chase your dreams. I'll let you in a heartbeat, even though it will hurt me to see you abandon our child, because I will never let you abandon your dreams.''

Nanubig na naman ang aking mga mata sa sinabi niya. Hindi ko inaasahan na iyon pala ang plano ni Eren, and I thought trusting and believing him would be hard, but I guess, it was just a thought because I believe him now. Remembering everything he did for me, how he sat beside me, listening to my sobs and problems, and how he treasured me. Not believing in him is impossible. I know he was sincere every time he said good things to me because I could feel it.

''I'll never abandon my child'' I said nonchalantly.

I heard him chuckle and he pinched my nose ''I know that one now. You don't need to tell me. Maria''