The broken oath of forever (Broken Series #1)

Chapter 31

Father

"Aren't you going to visit him, once you got home?" I sighed and looked at Alfa.

He's at Germany right now, because this week we will go back to the Philippines for their wedding final preparation,

"Why would I?" I asked and this time, he sat beside me and held my hand.

"I am your best friend, remember?" he squinted his eyes when he stared at mine. "I knew what's keeping you awake late at night, it's been three days since I arrived here and I always saw you going out every night, or if you are inside the apartment, you're just at the balcony waiting for the time to pass by. You're thinking about him and his situation, I knew it just by staring at you. I knew when you cared for someone" he added to his speculations.

"Hell, I'm not!" I highly contradicted his theory about my usual activities at night.

"Yes, you are!" he chuckled and flicked my forehead, so I glared at him. "Stop lying in front of me, I knew it when you're lying about something. I even knew that you're always crying every night, so what is the reason behind those tears?"

"And those are not valid evidences for your speculations at me" I rolled my eyes and pulled him up. "Get out of my room, I need to rest" I pushed him when he tried to stay inside to pester me.

"Promise you won't cry tonight" he softly stated and faced me again. "You've been crying too much, you're eyes too tired from crying and you look ugly now. So at least, rest properly tonight, okay?"

I pouted and slowly nodded at him.

"See, you can't lie to me. Go to sleep now, it's already late for the bedtime of preggy woman like you" he went out of my room after I went to my bed.

He's right, I've been crying every night and I don't really know what is the main reason. I kept on thinking and thinking of so many things and my emotions are all over the place, every damn time.

Overthinking sucks...

I am not even used on crying a lot and yet now, I always cry for many times and I can't stop it.

Maybe, what they really said is true.

That crying calms the soul, but it pains the heart and drains the mind... My mind is too tired from thinking, but I always ended up thinking more and later on, I will just saw myself wiping my own tears and hearing my own heart breaking into pieces.

I don't know. I am still confused with everything.

My tears aren't easy to fall, yet I knew I am already breaking when it fell. But now, I don't know if I am crying because of him. I don't know if I am crying because I am lost and missing my family. I don't know if I am emotional because of my pregnancy.

I don't even know what I really feel, because everything is mixing up.

"You need to visit a therapist now, no backing out again Aczia" I talked to myself and turned which made me noticed the empty side of my bed again. "You're mind and emotions are tired from too much mixing"

I sighed and closed my eyes... but the first thing I saw in my dream is him. Again...

The same nightmare. The same pain. The same painful tears when I woke up.

"Nightmares again?" Ymary asked when I went out of my room. I sighed and nodded at her. "You have an appointment to the therapist today, right?"

"Yeah, I wish to be better. Having that nightmare, overthinking and over crying is not really healthy for me and for my baby"