I almost drowned in my bubble bath,
subdued by the suds and salts.
Washed over with warmth,
my lungs slowly fade with my resolve
I can't tell if I like the song playing or if I'm just sad
I put it on repeat anyway, only hearing the verse that makes my ears ring
Choking on guilty pleasure and lavender
Is the pain in my chest from my head or the water I'm taking in?
My eyes sting and I try to make out the ceiling through the blur of shampoo
It's 11pm and I still have things to do
But none of them will make you happy enough to sleep without anger or guilt.
I don't mind
The sink overflows and floods the house
My bathwater is cold, and I don't mind
Yet I still dread the sun peeking from the clouds
My god, it's six am already?
I blink and I'm at my desk, hair still wet, soaking my shirt
I know my friends are talking, just not to me, I still don't mind
They probably have a reason
I'm in the car heading home, with the sun in my eyes and your tired voice in my head. though you've said nothing you tell me you're upset
Now I have more things to do, and I don't mind
It's hours past the time when you leave, I'm in the shower this time
The shaving razors still catch my eye
Along with the jewelry you never wear
I didn't fall asleep in my bathtub this time
But my chest still hurts and my lungs feel empty
I can't see through the stinging in my eyes
I still have things to do and it's midnight
It's like I can never get anything done
I'm bare on the floor with the carpet digging into my back, but this does not bother me
All I can do is pretend to be a part of the conversation everyone else is having,
waiting for my bath to drown me and the soaps to fill my mouth
Though all I sit and wonder now is if I do mind, and what good it'll do
