you can't help but become the sun / julien baker

chapter forty-seven

Maggie's Pov:
---------------------------

"There are way more people watching than I anticipated," I nervously told Julien as people funneled in to watch me.

"You'll do great! Have you gotten a chance to practice with the water?" Julien asked, pulling her phone out of her pocket.

"No, so I'm even more nervous," I took my hair out of the ponytail it was in. "I have a plan so hopefully it'll go well."

"Good, I'm gonna record it like the proud girlfriend I am," she opened her camera app as the last people took their spots.

"You have my permission to record. I should probably get started," I kissed her cheek, then poured the water into the trays and moved them where I'd planned to place them.

I picked up the folded towel and walked to the middle of the room. "Hello everyone, today I'll be dancing for you! I haven't danced in a long long time, so if I mess up please don't be mean!"

My old dance teacher walked into the space, now I'm even more nervous! I took a deep breath and walked over to my mark on the left side of the room. I nodded at Donna, who started the music.

My head hung low as 'Anti-Curse' filled the room. I slowly looked up, when Julien started singing I ran into a forward roll, ending up on my back with the towel by my side and my arms stretched up by my ears.

I let my body take control as the song progressed. I didn't touch the water until forty-five seconds in during the lyrics "salt in my lungs" when I splashed it with my hands.

The first bold move was shortly followed after I started jumping in the trays when the build hit its strongest point as Julien's voice belted out "I'm swimmin' back."

I backbend out of the water and onto the towel, wiping off my feet, then picking it up and clutching it to my chest. I took steps back as the music diminished, I dropped the towel. My hands raised, my head hung again, my hands pressed into upside-down prayer hands for the title lyrics. They dropped down momentarily before raising again, this time with my head and for the blessing lyric.

I took my foot and used the towel to wipe up some of the water as the transition for 'Letter To An Old Poet' was carried out. My expressions during this song will hopefully hide that I've lost a lot of my strength when it came to dance.

I completely blacked out as I danced, it felt similar to my last nationals. That feeling when I let go and let my body carry me through to the end of the dance would never get old.

Tears fell down my cheeks as I got ready for the boldest turn sequence I was ever gonna try and attempt. When the boys held out the word "waiting," I started turning which lasted twenty-three seconds until the song ended and I fell to my knees, clutching my heart.

My breathing was heavy, and as cheers erupted in the room I almost forgot that I was dancing In front of people. Tears were rolling down more than half of the people's cheeks in the room, including Julien's.

I slowly stood up and took a bow as the applause grew louder. I brushed off a few of my own tears, my body collided with Julien's as she ran up to me and hugged me. "I'm all wet, darling." I chuckled through a sob.

"I don't care! You are amazing, you made me cry! You haven't lost your talent Baby, please you have to do something with dance again," she rambled, pulling away and kissing my lips.

When I pulled away I promised her that I would put thought into it. People gathered around us and started asking questions.

"That was the first time you've danced since you quit?" A guy asked, linking arms with the guy next to him.

"It was, I guess it's proof that you never really lose your knowledge. I'm sorry for making you all cry, that wasn't my intention!" I dried my cheeks thoroughly, grabbing Julien's hand.

"What songs were those?" a girl asked, she looked to be around the age I was when I stopped.

I smiled at my girlfriend, "They are 'Anti-Curse' and 'Letter To An Old Poet' by Boygenius. Which happens to be the supergroup my girlfriend's a part of."

"So, that was you singing?" another student asked, directing their question towards Julien.

"The first song was me, the second one I sang harmonies on," she shyly smiled. My God, how I'm so in love with her.

Eventually, everyone had to get back to their rehearsal. Julien and I cleaned up the water and we put everything back where it belonged. We were about to leave when we got stopped by my old dance teacher, Anne.

"You did good, Magnolia. Sure, sometimes your feet were sickled, I saw mistakes, and your body looks..... different, but you did good," she could never just give me a pure complement.

"Thanks, I'm sorry to cut this short but we have to go. It was nice seeing you, bye!" I rushed to get away from the conversation I really didn't have the energy to have. I'm absolutely exhausted.

As we walked out of the dance studio, a black car slowly rolled out in front of us. The haunting image of only a smile was engraved into my brain as they sped away. I need to get out of here.

Act Two; Ends Now