you can't help but become the sun / julien baker

chapter thirty-one

Maggie's Pov,
Slightly Suggestive:
---------------------------

"You're actually leaving me tomorrow?" Julien asked. Some time has passed since we had gotten home and now we are sitting on her bed.

"Unfortunately, I have to leave tomorrow. I don't want to, trust me," I sighed. Julien moved closer to me, linking our arms together and leaning up against me.

"Thank you for being here, I'm sorry again for scaring you."

"Obviously what went down wasn't okay and I appreciate your apology, but you are the most important thing in my life so if you need me then I'm gonna be here."

"I'm grateful for that, It goes for you too. I drive fast so I'll get there faster," her comment made us laugh for a short period of time before we sat in a comfortable silence.

Both of Julien's arms snaked around my waist, a mischievous grin plastered on her face. "If I don't let you go, you can't leave me."

I exhaled through a laugh, "Oh, you are so cute." I kiss the top of her head as I wrap my arms around her frame.

"Can I kiss you, Maggie?" She asked. She didn't have to ask, but she still did.

"Please, please kiss me," she stared into my desperate eyes for a few seconds before kissing me. The kiss was passionate, needy, it had every ounce of longing for me to stay put into it.

Julien moved on top of me, straddling my lap. I whined as she pulled away, only to move onto my neck. Sure, this has happened to me before but never with someone who I actually wanted to kiss me like that.

My hand gripped her hip as she left small love bites on my neck, she made sure they were relatively faint but still noticeable. Julien's hands went for the bottom of my shirt, but I panicked. My hands flew from her hips to her wrists, stopping her.

"What's wrong? Are you okay?" Her concerned eyes searched my face, trying to find what was wrong.

"I'm okay, I just don't think I want to have sex," part of me felt bad, I didn't want to disappoint my girlfriend but I also knew it was my right to say no.

"We don't have to do anything you don't want to do. It's your body and your choice, I don't wanna push you to do anything and I'm sorry if I came off too strong."

"Don't apologize, you didn't do anything wrong," I was worried to see how she would react to my body. I quickly realized that those thoughts were ridiculous, it was just me overthinking everything.

The room was dim, now that the sun had gone down. "Should we sleep?" Julien asked, moving back onto the bed.

I got up, quickly figured out what I was gonna do, and turned around so I wasn't facing her. My slightly shaky hands pulled my shirt off my body. While I didn't want to have sex, I figured I could be vulnerable and sleep In only my undergarments.

There was a difference between someone taking off my shirt and me taking it off myself. It was based on what I can control and what I cannot. If I could control what happens after I take off my shirt then it doesn't seem as scary.

I removed my jeans and took a deep breath before turning around. Julien's jaw dropped, her eyes scanning my body. I wrapped my arms around my stomach, getting flustered.

"Honey, you are beautiful," Julien's sincere voice complimented me. She smiled, standing up from her bed. She tugged off her shirt, then her pants. "You don't have to hide from me." She removed my arms from around my middle and placed her hands on my hips.

They fit perfectly within my curves, my heart was racing. I placed one of my hands on her cheek and pressed a kiss on her lips. "So are you. Now we can go to bed, yeah?" I waited for her to nod, then we got back into her bed. We fell asleep shortly after, cuddled up so close to each other.

---------------------------

a/n: TWO UPDATES IN ONE DAY?!?!?!
it's bc I'm gay 'n tired
this was a little bit of a different chapter, I hope you guys enjoyed it!

-A