[UNDER HEAVY REVISION] Super Smash Bros Ultimate Headcanons

Fighter #10 - Ness

Back to making Smash headcanons! Hope you enjoy these!

- Ness does amazing in school. He gets straight A's without even trying. Out of every class, science is easily his favorite.

- He has a collection of colorful magnets for the kitchen fridge.

- He knows how to make molotov cocktails somehow. Samus blames the villains for teaching him, but she fails to realize that the internet is a magical, informative place.

- He owns a small science kit that he always brings around with him.

- Ness has nearly blown up the mansion due to irresponsible mixing of various lethal chemicals. How he got said chemicals, nobody knows—they sure as hell weren't in the science kit. (He doesn't read the labels half the time, so that doesn't help either.)

- Ness might be smart, but he still does some stupid things, both accidentally and on purpose.

- He often uses PK Thunder to propel himself throughout the mansion, which earns him plenty of visits with Dr. Mario.

- He always marks the dates of meteor showers on his calendar. When the day arrives, he invites his friends over to watch them.

- Ness has a massive crush on Samus. If she does something nice for him (or even talks to him, it really doesn't take much), he blushes like crazy.

- As much as Ness loves baseball, he kinda sucks at it. With help from Snake, he's slowly trying to improve. He's far better at batting than he is at pitching.

- He isn't the most artistic, but give him some clay and he can do a pretty decent volcano sculpture (though it won't last long before he accidentally blows it apart with something).

- Ness got really curious about Kadabra one day and decided to read a bunch of its Pokedex entries. He couldn't sleep for weeks after that.

- Young Link is a good friend of his. He might not speak much, but he makes for great company.

- He won second place in his school talent show one year for his cool yo-yo tricks.

- This kid is unbelievable at hide-and-seek. He knows all of the best hiding spots in the mansion. One time, the others thought he'd gotten kidnapped because, for over an hour, they couldn't find him.

- His first stuffed animal was a teddy bear named Roger. He won't admit it to anyone, but Ness still has him in his bedroom closet. Whenever he has a really bad nightmare, he'll retrieve Roger and cuddle with him for the rest of the night.

- Ness is really interested in Greek mythology and finds himself talking to Pit a lot about it. 

- Ness gets homesick really easily. If something reminds him of Onett, he becomes slightly depressed. He video chats with his friends every night to help him cope with it.

- Ness LOVES steak. Steak tacos, steak with potatoes, surf & turf—he'll eat anything if it has steak. Much to the others' dismay, he likes it best when it's cooked rare. A lot of the older fighters are worried about him eating it like that.

- "Rare? It's practically still alive at that point, darling." - Bayonetta

- Snake is like a father figure to him. They do a lot together, from playing video games to perfecting Ness' pitch.

- He's also Snake's self-proclaimed wingman when it comes to love. In the past, Ness has desperately tried to set him up on dates, even going so far as to set up a Tinder profile for him without his knowledge, but Snake always rejected them. Poor Ness just wanted the man to get the love he deserved, and he didn't understand why he wouldn't give it a shot. Then one day, Snake finally confided in him. As it turns out, he only rejected those dates because he already had his steel heart set upon Samus. Ness was shocked and felt a little betrayed at first, but he was still determined to help out his friend.

- "Samus? Really? Well, you better make a move quick before I get to her first!" - Ness

- Ness also has a strong friendship with Otacon. They nerd out about science-y stuff together.

- To his surprise, he's actually a big fan of heavy metal. Snake introduced him to a couple bands and when he listened to their music for the first time, his mind was completely blown.

- Ness dreams of one day joining a professional baseball team. He just has to pitch without hitting someone in the head first.

- Despite being young, Ness understands the value of a dollar. He's financially responsible and already has a jar in his closet specifically for college savings.

- Ness has a whole album full of limited edition baseball cards, with most of them in mint condition.

- Once, Wario stole this precious album and put it up for auction on Ebay, where he ended up selling it for $100,000. It wasn't long before Ness found out, and with Otacon's help, he tracked down the person it was sold to. When he politely informed them that the cards were stolen, they were very understanding and sent them back. Once they returned to the mansion, Snake held Wario at gunpoint until he agreed to give the money back. In the end, all went well and everything returned to its rightful place.

- Well, except for Wario's happiness. That disappeared along with the money.

- Ness has a lot of dreams about memories from his early childhood, which often contribute to his homesickness.

- As of right now, he's the only one who can comprehend, speak, and translate Saturnian. He's currently trying to teach it to Lucas.

- Surprisingly, Ness doesn't have the strongest stomach. He nearly threw up when he first encountered Master Belch, then nearly threw up again when they met a second time, then actually threw up when he found the blob of grossness hanging out on the Spirit Board.

- Ness has accumulated quite a few nicknames during his time at the mansion. Roy (FE) and Snake affectionately refer to him as "squirt", Otacon calls him "buddy", and Bowser, Ganondorf, and Ridley call him "pipsqueak. His favorite is "Psi Guy", given to him by Pit.

- Bayonetta calls him a twerp sometimes, but that's only when she's irritated with him.

- You know how his science experiments sometimes go completely awry? Well, it only gets worse when he has friends around. He and Jeff have launched rockets around the mansion several times and nearly destroyed tons of valuable items. They're convinced that, one day, they'll finally be able to make a functional rocket, but Snake believes that day won't arrive for a long time.

- This kid makes Scooby-Doo references constantly, to the point where it's almost too much. If he sees something dangerous, he always says "Gee Scoob, we better get out of here!" It doesn't matter whether he's by himself or with ten other people, he'll always be talking to "Scoob".

- He has six different yo-yos, all in various colors. The green one is his favorite.

- If a blackout happens, Ness will use PK Flash to help fighters see. Pikachu and Pichu will also contribute using their own electrical powers.

- If he suspects someone stole something from him, he'll use his psychic powers to turn them upside-down and give them a cartoon-style shakedown. He'll then drop them on their head when he's finished.

- When big festivals and parties come up, he begs the adults to be in charge of fireworks, but everyone knows how that would end up.

- He does the Naruto run even though he has no idea what Naruto is.

- On nights he can't sleep, he loves going up on the balcony and using the telescope. Not only does he enjoy seeing the stars and planets at night, but it also reminds him of the smile on Samus' face when she first bought it for the mansion. Seeing her so happy made him happy, too.

- His favorite song from the Smash soundtrack is Bein' Friends. He always cries whenever he hears the slow part, so it inspires him to finish his battles quickly before it comes on.