[UNDER HEAVY REVISION] Super Smash Bros Ultimate Headcanons

Fighter #14 - Bowser

- He's jealous of how long Charizard can use Flamethrower. If Bowser uses Fire Breath for too long, he'll gas out.

- Whenever he's super angry, his footsteps will shake the whole floor. There've been plenty of times in which the Koopalings get scared and think there's an earthquake before realizing that dear ol' dad just got beat by Mario again.

- Incineroar has become a good friend of his, and is also a great wrestling coach. The two of them often train and practice wrestling moves together.

- If the Koopa King ever needs some time to himself, he'll find a secluded spot and tuck away inside his shell. He likes going behind bushes the most because the other fighters have a lesser chance of finding him there. No one has discovered his hiding spot...yet.

- If anyone messes with his kids, they're getting a giga knuckle sandwich straight to the face. He's very protective of them when they're in Smash, mainly because there's so many fighters who could easily hurt them.

- The villains tease and mess around with each other so much to the point where it's borderline bullying. Once, Ridley wrapped his tail around Bowser's leg and tugged it back as he walked past, causing the Koopa King to face-plant. It takes a lot to damage Bowser, but considering Ridley's strength, that really hurt.

- Incineroar let him try some Poke Beans once, and he actually really likes them. Bowser's not sure what that says about him, though. After tough matches, Incineroar always brings some to share.

- During the summer, when the fighters have cookouts outside, Bowser is always in charge of the barbeque. Put him in front of the grill and he'll come back with some of the best burgers, hot dogs, and ribs the fighters have ever tasted. Typically, he's not good at cooking, so it's a mystery as to how he can get it to be so good.

- Every Friday night, he'll play Rummy and Poker with Wario, Meta Knight, and King Dedede. Wario always wants to play for money, but the other three know better and would rather play for fun. Every now and then, King K. Rool might join in as well.

- Bowser LOVES classic rock and hair metal, especially from the 80s. He usually has it playing in the background whenever he's playing cards with the other villains.

- If the Koopalings' clown cars are broken, he'll not only fix them, but he'll add new, cool weapons that he thinks they'll like.

- He's still smitten with Peach and has a little notebook in which he writes down different ideas for asking her out. If he decides to stick with a plan, he'll usually have Meta Knight and King Dedede help him out with it.

- More than anything, Bowser cares deeply about being a good father to the Koopalings and constantly worries that someone or something will affect how they view him. If he loses a match, will they think he's too weak? If he sides with Mario, will they think he's gone soft? If he does something too evil, will they get scared and turn on him? What do other fighters say about him when he's not around? Do they tell them good things, bad things, or something in between? Or do they, perhaps, say nothing at all? Bowser's children love him, and he knows that, but he still can't help but worry.

- Every time someone complains about the Koopalings' antics, Bowser can't help but chuckle. If they think one silly prank is bad, then they don't want to see how they behave back home.

- Various fighters have mistaken him for a turtle upon first meeting him, but his reactions were vastly different depending on who it was and how they were saying it. Fighters like Lucas and Pit innocently believed that he was a giant turtle, to which he politely explained to them that he was something much different. Fighters like Ridley and Sephiroth, on the other hand, practically mocked him about it, which sent the Koopa King into a fiery fit of rage.

- Despite his wedding plans having been foiled, he still really wants to marry Peach. The Koopalings know that she's not their real mother, but they still refer to her as such, which breaks his heart even more. He gets really infuriated if a fighter tries reminding them that Peach isn't actually related to them.

- Kazooie really has it out for him for some reason. Banjo's fine, but Kazooie does not like Bowser at all, going so far as to leave him "presents" outside his bedroom door.

- When the Koopalings are playing with some of the other younger fighters, they'll often rope Bowser into the fun as well. This has caused him to form some unlikely bonds with fighters like Ness, Lucas, Villager, and Toon Link.

- They didn't like each other initially, but over time, Bowser and K. Rool have become as close as brothers. Sure, their egos cause them to fight sometimes, but they'll always have each other's backs.

- Bowser is fully aware that he has a short temper and has actually been trying to keep it in check more often. He's making progress, albeit not very much.

- Nowadays, Bowser can keep his Giga form under control, but back then, there were many times in which he lost control as Giga Bowser and nearly destroyed the entire stage. It'd get so bad that both Master Hand and Crazy Hand would have to step in.

- It took him a while to adjust to the fact that there was another Roy in the mansion who was also essentially a prince.

- Knowing how many retro characters there are both on the roster and working as Assist Trophies, he silently prays that his imposter "twin" doesn't show up. Bowser doesn't know who that guy is or where he came from, but for a while he falsely referred to himself as "Bowser's brother" and "the Duke of the Koopas". One day, he just disappeared, which freaked him out even more. Will he ever return again? Bowser hopes not.

- Because Wario has a monstrous appetite, Bowser is often caught up in schemes to sneak him some extra food (which he'll only agree to if he gets his fair share of the grub). They almost always fail, though.

- Despite all of their differences, Bowser has actually become good friends with the other villains. Well, most of them. Sephiroth and Kazuya haven't warmed up to him yet, and Dark Samus just freaks him out.

- However, their friendship does not mean that they don't fight. The villains are all pretty hot-headed and prideful, so arguments break out frequently among them. Out of all of them, Bowser finds himself arguing with K. Rool and Ganondorf the most.

- One time, there was a gopher infestation in the gardens, and of all fighters, Master Hand decided to send Bowser, Ness, and Ike to deal with it. They were a heavily dysfunctional trio, but after a lot of trial and error, they managed to get it done.

- Bowser has his own giant scratching post that he'll take his anger out on. It's a miracle that thing is still in one piece.

- As feeble as he thinks Toad is, Bowser can't help but admire his courage. No matter what, he's always willing to stick up for people, especially Princess Peach. Unlike most others, Toad doesn't cower in fear or run away upon crossing Bowser's path. In fact, he'll step straight into it if it means protecting someone from harm. Despite the two being on opposing sides, Bowser can't help but have a weird respect for him.

- Bowser thought that since he had so many spikes on his back that he couldn't possibly be used as a stepping stool, but he was proven wrong when Yoshi needed something on the top shelf of the fridge and the Koopa King was the only one around to help him. Ever since then, Yoshi and the younger fighters have used him to give them a boost on several occasions.

- One time, as a prank, Lemmy painted his shell blue while he was sleeping. Unbeknownst to him, that paint was a special permanent type and wouldn't come off no matter what Bowser tried to do. The only way they managed to take it off was to have Robin cast some spell on it.

- His favorite song from the Smash soundtrack is King Bowser - Super Mario Bros. 3. It's literally his theme, but made better with all of the sick metal riffs—how could he not love it?