Kazuki pova week later
It amazes me how childish Rei is. I'm not at all implying it's bad, I actually love seeing that side of him. He likes colouring books, stuffed animals, toys, and cartoons. Rei of course keeps all those items hidden, but he's recently started being more open with his hobbies. I always knew he had a naive childlike personality, I just had no idea he was that deep into it. He deserves it though, after everything he went through and having his childhood stolen from him. I say let the guy play with toys and colour with crayons if that's what makes him happy. With recent events, his mental health has definitely taken a hit, so I'm doing what I can to make sure he's doing alright. And so I'll join him when he's rolling a toy car around on the floor or let him show me his stuffed animals and the like. Whatever he wants to do, I'm going to be there so he's not alone ever at any moment until he's been able to bounce back to his normal self. For now, I'm dealing with a Rei that's more or less the equivalent of a six year old boy. We all cope in our own ways and his is definitely better than mine. I about drank myself to death after I lost Yuzuko... So compared to that, this isn't a problem. Still though, as a precaution, I hid all of the alcohol and weapons away in my bedroom while he slept to avoid any unnecessary stress and risks. One slight inconvenience about Rei's state is that we haven't done it at all. I can live with it, but, I already miss touching him. He still accepts hugs and kisses, he also comes to bed with me too, anything beyond that he's not shown much interest in. I can't blame him, my only option is to help him out of this slump so we can move forward.
"Rei, how are you feeling?" I look down at the boy sitting on the floor while he carefully sorts out his toys by colour and size. "..." I'm met with no response. It appears Rei is too transfixed by his sorting. "Rei..." I kneel next to him to see his progress up close. "Wow, you're really good at this." I praise him which garners a little reaction from Rei as he looks up at me with a tiny hint of a smile. "You've been going at this for awhile now. Wanna take a break?" I ask. Rei simply nods at me and stands up. "I'm sorry." he said. "I don't know what to do." his voice is soft and hardly audible. "Don't apologise. You're dealing with a lot, it only makes sense that you regress into the way you are now all things considered." I could never be mad at him. He never got to be a child and as a result, acting as a child is what his mind defaults to when faced with serious mental trauma. "I'm here for you and I always will be." I wonder if that's why Yuri chose to stay with her sister following her death. A bond broken by death, yet reformed by the warm grasp of eternity. It makes me think about what I'd do if Rei were to meet the same fate. I can't imagine life without him and I wouldn't want life without him...however, at least one of us has to survive for Miri's sake. If it's within my power, I'll do anything to make sure that it's Rei that survives. Worst comes to worst, I won't hesitate for a second to sacrifice myself if it means Rei gets to live. He deserves a real chance at living, way more than I do. "I was thinking we should get outside today. We've not left the apartment much at all except to take the trash to the dumpster. Why not visit Yadorigi and catch up with Kyu-chan?" Might do him some good to be around someone else that knew Yuri. Even for a shut-in like Rei this is a long time without ever getting outside. "I...want to stay home." Rei tightly clutched his arms around a plush cat. "You're as pale as a ghost. You could use some sunlight." "But the sun isn't out." He points at the melancholic scenery through the window. "Fair enough, but still. Staying in all the time isn't good for you. Do you want me to hold your hand while we're out?" Physical contact tends to chill him out when he's out of it. We'd get a lot of nasty looks from people. If it helps him though, then it's worth the all the judgement. "I..." He hesitates to finish his sentence. You can almost see the cogs turning in his head as he thinks of how to reply. "...Okay" Rei finally whispers. "Alright, great! Go get your day clothes on and I'll get ready too."
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Rainy Weather (Kazurei)
FanfictionWhat is it like to love? I've wondered that for years. Growing up there was never any of that unconditional parental love and affection like others get. Maybe it's selfish to have such thoughts, in the end this life I'm living has no room for emotio...