The nightmare we call high school (Completed)

The nightmare we call high school-preparing for hell

BEEP BEEP BEEP, my alarm screamed in my ear. I slammed the clock and rolled back over. After a couple minutes
I finally rolled out of bed and took a quick glance at the mirror "God why did I have to be so damn ugly?"I muttered to myself as I slowly walked over to my closet wich consisted of mostly black grey and red band T-shirts, not caring enough to plan my outfit the day before I grabbed a random T-shirt and a pair of ripped skinny jeans. I walked into my bathroom and turned on the water, while I waited for it to warm up I examined my bare body in the mirror. I have pale white skin, Brown eyes, dyed red hair and shark bite piercings. My lower body was even worse, I had no thigh gap and belly roles both of which are covered in cuts. My arms weren't much better. Finally I was to disgusted to look at my vulgar body anymore. I put on my music and pulled back the shower curtain. As I stepped in shivers ran through my body along with a burning sensation. I let a whimper escape my lips as my body adjusted to the hot water. My fresh cuts from last night protested the hot water and puffed up. This usually didn't bother me because that's what I felt every morning since I was 12 but for some reason they burned more then usual. Ignoring the pain I let the warm water engulf me as Oliver screamed join the club out of my speakers.

"You're scared, I can see you tremble
Shaking like a dog, shitting razor blades
Feel love shadows like a stranger
Well join the club, yeah join the club
Do you wish that you could cut yourself out of your skin?"

"Yes" I whispered.

After I finished showering I got dressed, turns out I grabbed my of mice and men black T-shirt. After I got dressed I brushed my teeth and put my make up on. I lined my eyes with a thick coat of eyeliner and applied my mascara, then I straighten my hair. I walked back into my room and grabbed my converse and my bag. I walked down stairs to find an empty house. Mom and my step dad must have already left for work, leaving me to find a ride. But I was used to them being gone all the time. I walked back upstairs and grabbed my skate board. As I was about to walk out the door I realized mom had taped a note to it

Cierra, sorry I couldn't take you for your first day but I'm sure you could skate there or ask Zoe to take you
Make sure you eat something before you leave
-love mom

I took a spoon and bowl out and poured a little bit of milk in it. Then i put it in the sink. I'm sure she would check if I ate when she got home. Mom kept a close eye on me now because about a year ago she walked in on me about to kill myself. I couldn't take the bullying anymore so I ran home from school cut my arms, stomach, and thighs. I then took my step dad's gun and held it to my head. My mom had came home early and when she heard me crying she walked upstairs and saw me. She talked me out of it and took me to the hospital. They were asking my mom if she'd like to send me to a mental hospital, I cried and pleaded begging her not to. So we struck a deal, she wouldn't send me away or tell anyone what happened if I stopped all the cutting and not eating and throwing up when I did eat in addition to going on medication. And I did stop for a while but eventually the darkness crept back up on me. Shaking the memory from my head I grabbed my stuff and walked out the door.

So this is my first book and it's not that great but yeah
so please vote and comment