back to the nightmare

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Alex's pov

My heart dropped, I ran out of the party in tears that I couldn't hold back. How could they do that to me? There's no way I'm ever going to tell her how I feel because she obviously doesn't care or feel the same. I walked home in tears that I couldn't stop. When I finally got home my dad was thankfully dead asleep. I snuck into my room and quietly closed the door. I fell on my bed and sunk my face into my pillow, trying to quiet my sobs. I soon fell asleep.

When I woke up it was already 2 in the afternoon. The house was empty and I was all alone. I decided to wash away last night with a hot shower.

School starts back up tomorrow, and I've been dreading it so much. I would have to face Cierra and Malakai tomorrow; which is something I really don't want to do. Maybe I could pretend to be sick, but my dad would know that I just don't want to go to school. I'm royally screwed. I haven't talked to Malikai or Cierra since the party when they kissed.
Kissed, it repeated in my head.

I decided I was going to spend my last day well. I called my old friend Katrina, Trina for short.
"Hey Trina, are you doing anything today?" I asked.
"Just the usual...getting high off my ass. Why?"
"Can I come over...I could really use an escape before school starts."
"Sure" she said deviously " I thought you stopped smoking Alex? Well I guess that lasted pretty long." She laughed and hung up.

Trina and me were best friends ever since we were little, but when she fell into drinking and drugs she pulled me down with her. I stopped but she didn't and we gradually drifted apart. we hadn't hung out in over a year so there would be a lot to catch up on.

I grabbed my bag and threw some perfume, mints and eye drops in it. I told my dad I was hanging out with Malakai and left. My dad knows about Trina and her habbits so I had to lie.

Trina only lives a couple streets away from me so it didn't take me long to get there. I knocked before opening the door and stepping inside. Smoke engulfed me and the sweet aroma of weed and whiskey hit me hard. I walked up to Trina who was on the floor smoking.
"Hey bitch." I said before grabbing her pipe a taking a long deep hit that knocked me on my ass, it truly had been a long time.
"Yes just take my pipe fag"
I stopped dead in my tracks and stared at her widely, me and her would always joke around like this and it never bothered me before but the words hung in the air. I brushed what she said off and passed her the pipe.

The next couple hours were a blur, we talked about everything that happened since the last time we saw each other, a lot more then intended came out because we were so high. Music blasted out of the tv, and soon enough me and her were dancing retardedly and giggling for no damn reason. And some how we ended up on top of her roof, I dont really know why we went up there or how we even got down.

We finally sobered up and realized some of the dumb shit we had done. I grabbed my stuff and started trying to prepare myself to go home. I sprayed the whole bottle of perfume on and popped some eye drops and mints.
"Hey would it kill you to say bye?" Trina said as she got up
" Sorry " I said before hugging her goodbye
"Hey Alex stay in touch this time ok?"
"For sure Trina."
She smiled raised her beer and said
"Till next time Alexandria." Then she shut the door.

She was the only person who I allowed to called me that.

When I got home I ran straight to my room, grabbed some new clothes and jumped in the shower.

My high was gone and my anxiety was back. I still can't believe what happened at the party, I really liked Cierra and she shot me down then kissed my best friend. How am I supposed to face her?
I can't
I won't
I'll pretend nothing happened
Nothing's bothering me
I'm fine

I layed my head on my pillow and tried to sleep. It didn't really work out but then again it never does. I tossed and turned trying to shake the hurt and fear from my head but I had no luck. I finally just gave up and grabbed my phone. Looks like another sleepless night and tired morning.

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