The nightmare we call high school (Completed)

"Cierra?"

Cierra's pov

"Cierra?"

I refused to open my eyes, I refuse to believe it. He's not here, he's not standing in my doorway.
No no no.
"Cierra...are you ok? Ugh I know it's been a while and the last time we talked wasn't that great but I want to fix things. I want to spend time with you and get to know you better-" I cut him off before he could speak again.
"What now you want to be a father...after 15 years after everything that's happened? Well too fucking bad; you don't get to just get up one day and say today I'll be a father...a real one." My eyes were still clenched shut and my face was turned away from him.
" Cierra I know I've made a lot of mistakes but now I'm try to fix things please-"
"Get out."
"Cierra" he pleaded.
For the first time I opened my eyes and faced him.
"I said get out!"
He took a step back and began to walk out of the room. Before shutting the door he put a little white card on my vanity by the door and looked up at me.
"Get the Fuck out of my house." I shouted before leaping out of bed and slamming the door and locking it.

I pressed my back to the door and slid down to the floor. I could no longer hold back the tears and I no longer cared. I pulled my knees into my chest and barried my face in my knees. I could here my mom and him bickering for a while then it turned into yelling. He pulled his "I want to fix things and be here for her" shit. My mom told him that it was my choice. It was clear she didn't want him around but like she Said it was my choice. After fighting for a while and my step dad getting involved, he finally left.

There was a soft knock on my door, I just sat there motionless.
"Cierra?"
*No answer*
"Cierra are you ok?"
"Please just leave me alone." I choked out.
"Cierra, honey open the door."
"Go away!"

After a little while mom gave up and left me to myself.
Big mistake.
I walked over to my dresser and dug through the bottom drawer. Buried in the back was a little glass jar. I opened it and poured it out. 5 blades fell out. Two little blades from a sharpener, two from a raizor I pulled apart, and a big one from a box cutter. I held them tightly in my hands; feeling the cold metal press against my skin. All the memories and pain flooded back into my memories. I whispered to myself
"I won't do it.
I dont need this.
It's not worth it.
Dont do it.
You will not cut."

I grabbed the jar and put them all back in it then slid it to the back of my drawer hidding it with clothes.

I got up from the floor and changed into my oversized long sleeve pierce the veil shirt and some grey skinny jeans. I opened up my window and popped the net off. Then I grabbed my board and phone and climbed out. I don't know where I'm going to go but anywhere is better then here right now. I don't want to be with my parents and I don't trust myself alone. I just skated and skated going as fast as could letting the wind dry my tears away. Somehow I found myself outside of Alex's house. I wasn't really thinking and I walked up to the door and rang the door bell. Soon Alex opened the door and as soon as she saw me her face turned confused and nervous. Before either of us could say anything I bursted into tears.
"Cierra what's wrong?
I tried to choke some words out but I was crying to hard. Alex wrapped her arms around me and pulled me inside. It felt so good to be in her arms again. Her warmth engulfed me and her sweet sent filled my lungs.

After I had stopped crying and pulled myself together I told Alex everything that happened. I told her about the hospital and my dad and pulling my blades out. She comforted me keeping her arms wrapped around me while we sat on the floor in front of her doorway talking.

Finally we got off the floor and went to her room. Her dad didn't seem to be there and the house was completely empty. I sat down on her bed and examined her room. Her walls where a light shade of purple and were covered in posters, pictures, and CD's. I had never actually been in her house before now; I had only ever seen the outside.

We watched movies and cuddled on her bed untill it was dark. I felt so at home in her arms and I never wanted to leave them again but I'm sure my parents have figured out I'm gone and have been flipping the Fuck out. I grabbed my phone and turned it on. 10 missed calls from mom, 7 from dad, and 4 from an unknown number. I had about thirty messages from mom and dad.
Sorry I just needed to get away for a while. I'm at Alex's house I'll be home in about 10 minutes.
I replied. I didn't feel like talking to them on the phone 'cause I was sure to get yelled at. About 45 seconds later mom called I answered
"I'm on my way"
Then hung up.
I got up and grabbed my shoes off the floor.
"You have to go?"
"Yeah my mom is having a shit fit."
"Well you kinda took off and didn't tell anyone...so I can see why." She smiled that perfect smile and I melted. She makes me so happy, it was like everything that happened between us was completely forgotten. I didn't want to leave but I knew I would have to. Smiled back at her and grabbed my board.

When we got to her front door every inch of me wanted to kiss her good bye but I wasn't going to Fuck things up again.
"Thanks so much you really helped me. I'll see you at school ok?"
"Ok." She smiled at me then we hugged.
I took off before more then that happened.

I finally got to my house...great. here it comes. I opened up the front door, but to my surprise I wasn't immediately yelled at. In fact my parents were no where in site. I walked up to my room and put my stuff down. Mom came in a few seconds later.
"Cierra? I know your going through a lot right now but that's no excuse to go running off like that." She said in a soft almost sad voice.
"I'm sorry I just needed to get away."
"I made you some food it's in the microwave, just heat it up when your hungry." Then she gave me the look of "I know you don't get hungry but eat it!" Face. Then she walked out.

I changed out of my clothes and threw on some sweats and a tank top. I could still smell cierras sent lingering on my clothes and me. Just her sent gave me a sense of being high.

I headed down stairs and heated up the plate in the microwave even though I had no intention of eating it. Luckily mom knows that I occasionally eat when it's healthy food so she put some veggies and salad on the plate as well, but that's all I ate for the entire day. I threw the rest in the toilet and flushed the disgusting fattening food away. Mom was smarter now and would check the trash and sink after I "ate".

I tried sleeping but I had no such luck, I couldn't stop thinking about my "dad" and what happened. I still haven't really processed the whole situation yet. Then there's also the fact of Alex and the way she made me feel. But she doesn't feel the same, she's straight, and I need to push these feelings away.

Soon the sun came up and it was time to face realty. I don't care much for apperance today, I threw my hair up in a messy bun only straightening my lose bangs. I put some mascara on and a bit of liner then grabbed my sweat shirt and some jeans.

When I got to she door I was abruptly pulled back by my back pack.
"What the hell mom?"
She didn't say a word, she just pointed to the table that had a plate of eggs, bacon, and toast. I just gave her a look of disgust. I walked over to the table picked up the toast and poured myself a glass of Orange juice. After finishing that I gave my mom a look then walked to the car. It wasn't what she wanted but at least I ate something.

The ride to school was extremely unpleasant and quiet, you could feel the tension boiling in the air.
We finally arrived at school. I glanced at the school trying to mentally prepare myself for hell. I got out and slammed the door shut as mom was spouting some bull shit about having a good day. Doesn't she know good days don't exist in high school.

I was making my way to the front of the school when I heard familiar yet unexpected voice.
"Cierra?"