The Loft

Part 33

PART 33

As soon as I woke up this morning, I knew today was going to be the day I had to make the decision between the two boys I was practically head over heels, in love with.

I was restless after tossing and turning for what seemed all night, and I had been awake in my bed for probably the past two hours, just staring at the ceiling above me. I look over at my clock on my nightstand, the time is 6 A.M.

The sun started coming up, progressively bringing a small amount of light through my window, and I knew I wasn't going to be able to go back to sleep.

I slowly removed myself from the messy white sheets on my bed, and put my feet on the cold wooden floor.

I grab a large flannel at the end of my bed and go to sit on my windowpane. I crack my window, letting the clear morning air in. The room is only filled with the sound of light wind and it's practically silent. I was going to put on a record, maybe some soft music or something, but the silence felt good alone, and I didn't want to change that.

It's not very often that the loft sounds quiet, usually, someone is up; showering, making food, getting water, listening to music, leaving, in the pool, etc. But it seemed as though all the boys were asleep.

At least until I heard rattling downstairs.

Usually I'm the only one up at this time, unless one of the guys has something on their mind.

I get on my feet once again, and walk towards my door, passing my mirror to see myself in my flannel recently put on, unbuttoned, with a black sports bra and some pajama shorts, paired with thigh – high socks.

I put my hand on the knob of my door and slowly turn it, trying to make the smallest amount of noise possible.

Jack is on the side of one of my walls, and he can wake up to the smallest sounds, and I hate waking him up with my door because at these hours, he thinks I'm leaving again.

I honestly don't think I could ever do that again.

I quietly shut my door and begin walking downstairs.

While making my way to the kitchen to cure my thirst, I look down at the promise ring and decide if I should take it off for the day, but as I remember what Jack told me about the ring long ago, I bump into him.

I let out a small gasp being a little surprised that he's up too, but then again, we're always up at the same hours, especially if we aren't in the same bed.

"What're you doing up?"

"I could ask the same for you," he mumbles.

He stands in front of me with his chest bare and in black Nike sweatpants, looking down at me, making unavoidable contact.

He hands me his cup of coffee he made.

"No, it's okay, I'll make my own-" I say handing it back to him.

He walks away from me to make himself another cup.

I've always liked the way he makes his coffee better anyways.

I follow him back into the kitchen and sit on the counter like I normally do.

As he makes himself another cup of coffee, I notice something about his body.

1)   He looks more toned than usual, and that's saying a lot.

and

2)   His knuckles look freshly bruised and have cuts on them.

It wouldn't be still hurt from when him and Matt fought, especially because his hands didn't look like that when he originally fought Matt.

I hop off the counter and set the cup of coffee I had nearly finished on the counter.

I walk up behind him and turn him around to face me, grabbing his hands in mine.

"Jack what happened to your hand?" I say looking down at his fingers.

He shakes his head and says, "Nothing, don't worry about it."

He smiles at me, sort of holding my hand, too.

"I'm serious. Why is it bruised and it looks all cut? What'd you do? Hit a brick wall?" I said sarcastically.

"Well, I mean I don't have brick walls in my room but-"

"You punched a wall? Why would you do that?" I ask.

He thinks a second before responding with, "I had so much anger, towards myself, and I was scared. As much as I hate to admit it, Matt has a much better chance at getting you than I do. And God I know I've fucked up, believe me, I know. I would hate me, too.-"

I stop him, barely squeezing his hands and saying to him, "Jack, stop, you're upsetting yourself."

I begin again after letting go of his hands, "I forgive you. I always have, I always will. But not for you. I forgive you for me, I forgive you so that I don't hate myself and so that I feel better at the end of the day. Just letting you know."

He nods in understanding.

I tell him, "Thanks for the coffee. I'll see you this afternoon. But I should probably get ready, because Matt's an early riser and I have to spend the first half of the day with him. See you later." I

I go to turn around, and he grabs my arm and twists me back around to face him.

I'm looking up at him as we're closer than we have been in a while.

I'm not kissing him.

He put his fingers through my hair and his hand holding the back of my head, and kisses my forehead, "Have a good morning, okay?"

"Okay."

I leave him and walk back upstairs.

As soon as I get into my room, I shut it and stand against the door.

He's going back to normal. He cares again.

I head towards my closet when I hear knocking at my door.

I say a little loudly, "Come in! I'm awake!"

Matt walks through my door and jumps on my bed, landing on his back.

"Ahh I'm excited babe."

"Me too, Matt. Can we go get something to eat first?" I ask.

"Well, of course."

- - - - - - - - - - - -

 A/N: hey loves! so this is just a small part to hold you over until i finish the next chunk. i decided to post this, and not some huge long update and make you guys wait any longer. i plan to update very soon, either late tonight or tomorrow morning.

love you guys, thanks for being patient. x