Kelsey always felt as if her family didn't like her. She grew up with 3 older brothers. They had a lot of friends. Once Kelsey was born, so we're her brother's friend's baby siblings. So basically, she was born into a popular family with a lot of friends. Though, when she was younger, Kelsey wasn't always the nicest person to talk to. In her elementary school years, you would probably see her as a bully. She had so many friends that she didn't realize that each time she was bossy, annoying, rude, or mean to them, they would leave one by one. Until, by the time she got into middle school, she had just about none. Before that, Kelsey would just be really bossy towards her friends and even their parents didn't want her behavior in their kids lives. So, not only did Kelsey lose her friends, she also made her brothers lose their friends, and made her parents lose theirs.
Kelsey went into middle school thinking she was too cool for friends anyways, her 6th grade year she still had a couple of friends. By the time she got to 7th, she had none. Though she made a lot fast. And again, by 8th grade, she lost all her friends by trusting and making friends with the wrong people.
Over the summer after 8th grade, Kelsey wondered how she became so mean. She wondered if it was because she felt as if her friends would never leave, or because she grew up with her brothers bossing her around, or if she just got a mean gene born into her. Either way, Kelsey didn't like how her behavior was. She decided that by the time her first high school year started she would not talk as much and be aware of who she trusted.
Bea was usually uncomfortable around family, as she barely talked to them. It was awkward having a full conversation with her mother.. It was like talking to a complete stranger. So, what Bea did was consider her friends as family. Throughout her life, she didn't have many friends. She'd have 1 or 2 good friends at a time, but not many regular friends or a "squad" to hang out with. But Bea knew that she would trade 100 regular friends for 1 or 2 really great friends that she could really trust. Ava and Kelsey are currently the only people Bea would care to talk to about important things. On the topic of her family, She would never trust them with anything near importance.
Bea's father died when she was only 1 year old. Since then, and until she turns 18, she gets 900 dollars a month from Social Security. This is the college fund that comes in the mail every month for her mother to save. Instead, her mother would spend it on non-essentials such as cigarettes, clothing, and furniture. She was a lying 43 year old thief that was dating a 28 year old man. So she obviously couldn't trust her mom. Her brother and cousins constantly steal from her, while aunts and uncle judge her in different languages. The only person in her family she would actually trust with vital information was her aunt. She was the one that told her about her mother spending her college fund, and gave proof. Bea thought of her as a mother, as her real one didn't act anything close to an adult for that matter. Even though she had only one person in her close family she could trust, she wouldn't trade that person for anything in the world.
Like Bea, Kelsey also didn't communicate with her family as often as others. She felt like her brothers didn't like her because she used to get them in trouble and she was the spoiled child our of the 4 of them.She would talk to her oldest brother more if he still lived with her. He was the nicest towards Kelsey and the one who actually listened to her and gave her advice. Though, he's now out of college living on the other side of the state. Ever since Kelsey started playing on her Xbox 360 again, her middle, older brother has been talking to her more since he plays on her Xbox while she plays on his ps4. But Kelsey is still really shy towards her brothers, she would say about 3 words each sentence towards them, really fast and quietly.
Kelsey also felt like her parents didn't like her either. In fact, she knew this was true. They would tell her that they don't. Her mother would constantly bug her about her grades, the way she dresses, and the way she treated people. "That's why nobody wants to hang out with you anymore." Ann would say when she got mad at Kelsey. She would apologize the next day, but they both know what she said was true. Kelsey used to like her father better because he would never judge her unless it was honestly necessary. He would invite her to movies and play board games with her. But now he just agrees with whatever her mother says and makes her want to run away. They just never listen, and even if they do listen they don't actually take in the situation. If Ann does try to give advice to Kelsey, she just doesn't help at all because she things guys don't actually go for looks, and she thinks that Kelsey could make friends and that people are friendly in her school. But guys do go for looks, Kelsey hasn't/can't make friends, and everyone in her school aren't friendly. She really wants to be home schooled but Kelsey's parents would be at work and they don't have enough to hire a tutor. Well, that's what Ann says to Kelsey, but she really knows it because her mom is just evil and still thinks Kelsey is wrong about her school.
Bea also knew that her mother didn't like her. Other than the fact that she'll make up excuses to why she cant go places with her mother and her little brother, she once told her that she hated her straight to her face. She'd tell her things like "Do you always wear those jackets to school because you don't want people to see your arms?" and "You're so ugly. You should be nicer to your brother.. Maybe people will like you more." Coming from anyone else, this wouldn't bother Bea. But the fact that it came from her own mother tears her apart.
Nobody in her family is as harsh to Bea as her mother is. She'd taunt her about self-harm, as if she didn't know the physical and emotional scars it left Bea with. She was so insensitive. She was so cold. Bea would think about other mothers, of other children. Mothers who see their children's potential and greatness and sunshine and help them express themselves. She would ask herself why she got stuck with a mother like Maria and her mind would sometimes fill with hopes that their relationship would get better.
Either way, she needed her mother. Though she hated the woman, she needed her for those special times in life where your mother does come in handy. Picking out a prom dress, picking out a wedding dress, having children, and so much more. There are times in life when you need your family.. The girls just hoped that they'd be more excited during those times.
Kelsey wished her family went back to the way it was before. When she would play Pokemon and Halo with her youngest older brother. When her middle older brother would share his music with her. When her oldest brother would tickle her, leaving red marks across her stomach. When her father would have "movie nights" and play UNO with her. And when Kelsey's mother would sit at the top of the stairs and hold her, rocking her back and forth to make her stop crying. You could probably let go of friends and make new ones, but you can't really change the past that you had with your family. And you can't get a new one.
YOU ARE READING
Realizing
Cerita Pendek"It usually starts in your teens. It's where you feel sad, you feel like you have nothing; like you're worth nothing, you feel alone. You try to tell yourself that you're not alone but you can't find anyone who understands. Depression. It kills. But...
