Hamza Nijad Ali,
Cold, Arrogant, Clever.
He has little use of ethics even less use of affection.
A philophobic with a past he can't accept and a future he can't expect.
He thought he will never feel anything until.....
Hania Zerlin Malik
Sweet,Shy...
Cooking is a great therapy, it's just calms my mind, and when i chop veggies i outburst all my frustration on them.
The happiness I feel when I pick up fresh home grown vegetables from the garden, it's an indescribable feeling!
And as the end result I'm happy, relaxed, with plate full of tasty meals.
Sometimes i feel bad about the people, who potray themselves like they don't even know how to boil water.
They are missing the major thing in their life,and I also feel it somehow connects to nature.
I am making dinner in the kitchen while listening to my mom lecturing me about how to behave in college.
I know it's unnecessary,but I also know that I'll follow it no matter what because that's the least I can do for her.and mom's are always right.
That's the disadvantage of being the elder daughter of the family, you have to compromise everything just because you born first.You have to be a role model for your siblings. I even feel i haven grown up too fast!
I used to think why can't I be the younger one?,why I have to do all this?.
I used to feel bad when my parents compare Azra with me, like there's no point in it. We are completely different persons with different mindset and views of life.
I think the biggest failure of my life will be not being good enough for my parents, I will never gonna let that happen even if it means you have no life to live .
but they have so many expectations.
I have accepted my fate on the day I got to know about my family's financial conditions, and life can't be glorified as we see it in books and novels, atleast we can live in delusion that we are trying to live in that way or imagining things in a certain way.
After having my dinner I came to my room and checking what else is left to pack.Yes ,I have to leave tomorrow afternoon all though my classes start after 2 days .
The 4 weeks passed with a speed of light with lots of cooking, reading and watching dramas and praying about my new start.
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"Don't skip your meals" my mom warned me "and if it's not good try to order something from outside " her eyes filled with tears "try to call us everyday". it's very difficult to control my emotions infront of them..After talking to my sister on phone cause she is at school. I have plastered a bright smile concealing my emotions behind it all this time. My dad didn't said much" just take care of yourself and don't stress over anything even your grades it's not your life they are just part of it,try to eat at time , don't worry about cleaning your room always he said and I faceplamed at the last thing because, he thinks that I am freak but I like things in a certain way.
