Still Flowers For You [SeungJin]

Chapter 46

A/N: In case you missed my announcment, I have a new Seungjin one-shot which I published last week. I only put it on a03 so head there if you want to read it:) It's called 'An artist in love'.

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Seungmin could hardly believe it was over. In a way, it was good it was just one person behind everything; it made everything easier even if he had paid others to extend his attacks. Seungmin wanted justice against them as well but he'll deal if they were never found. Tugs for hire there were plenty of but they can also substitute each other and as long as they had nothing personal against them and won't try to attack them of their own free will, then he'll let things slide. It may not be entirely up to him but Hyunjin won't hold a grudge if it wasn't personal; he'll probably send them money so they didn't have to resort to crime.

It was the future that was important and making sure that they were secure and safe.

He contemplated everything that had happened in the last...year? Everything seemed to clash together and how was he going to pick a timeframe when things had gone wrong or gotten difficult? Before this asshole there were other assholes and before that were their simple feelings but complicated actions which made their life interesting but also messy. Usually he tried to avoid messy but around Hyunjin, he himself became it and he tried hard not to hate himself; he left that to other people which did it quite well. Of course he could be critical of himself so he'll improve but hate was not conducive to actual change so it was not necessary and he tried to drop it – not to say he didn't hate specific people though.

He quite liked who he had become and he was sure he was on the way to become even better if he worked on himself though he was also frustrated that no matter how good he was, he couldn't get the attention of the person he wanted...but he can't force people; he would hate himself if he did. Hyunjin was just...a bit of an unknown in that department. He liked to think he knew the other and his needs quite well because he paid attention but it had been so long since they were together that he wasn't sure if Hyunjin wanted it anymore. The other had obviously wanted it after they broke up...but until when?

If he learned something from their last ordeal – and he tried to learn something from everything; he even had a section in his journal for that – it was that it didn't matter as much. As long as Hyunjin was safe and Seungmin could spend time with him, he'll be happy. Of course he'll be happier if the capacity he was with the other was romantic but he can't always have what he wants.

Looking at the other still peacefully sleeping had him smile.

He was safe.

During the night, Seungmin had woken up again and he'd decided that he wasn't happy sleeping on the sofa when Hyunjin was on the floor so he too had migrated there. He made sure to not touch the other to not startle him but he thought that if he was closer, he'll be able to protect him better. From what he wasn't sure but at least when the other had a nightmare he'd woken up from his light sleep and sang a short lullaby which fortunately had calmed the other. In times like these, he was really glad for his voice. He also realised that Hyunjin didn't exaggerate on how much he liked his voice; not when it had that unconscious effect on him. Best of all, he didn't have to touch him; the other seemed still a bit wary of that.

Which sucked for everyone involved. Hyunjin loved touching and being touched by people he trusted; he hadn't always liked that but as trust grew so did his appetite for it and perhaps he was trying to make up for a life of being wary of asking for too much because now he lived for it. And Seungmin loved touching and being touched, at least Hyunjin and he admitted also with his friends it was nice; his emotional wall was high but his physical one was low. He didn't like to be touched for long but casual touches were nice and eased the hardships they had to face. A squeeze to his shoulder, a rub on his back, a tap on his ass and a tickle here and there and perhaps being tossed on someone's shoulder or doing the same to them; it enforced their comradeship and camaraderie.