Mon Chéri

18

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Nyx

I sit rocking Raven gently as she cries. Its currently 2.47am and I have been up for 2 hours in the nursery trying to get my daughter to sleep. Shes 6 weeks old now and It just seems to be getting harder. I try to feed her and she screams. I change her and she screams. I rock her and no surprise she screams. I don't think I've managed to form any connection with Raven.

Morticia has been home to help me though. She's amazing with Raven and when she's with morticias she hardly cries. Sometimes I think they would be better off without me. I could just run away and it wouldn't matter. They would be happy. Morticia sadly goes back to work in the morning so I'll be left home alone with a screaming baby. My screaming baby.

"Ray would you just go to fucking sleep!" I sob out as I stand up. I look down at the tiny brown eyed girl who just pouts and cries harder if thats possible. I grab a pacifier and I put it in her mouth. I smile when she goes quiet...only for her to spit the damn thing out and the screaming resumes.

"FOR FUCK SAKE RAVEN" I shout as I start rocking her again. Tears run down my face as she starts crying more. I feel hands on my waist and I turn around. "Mon cheri..calm down" Tish whispers as she wipes the tears off my face.

I shake my head as I pass Raven to her "Take her..I cant-...I just can't!". I start to walk out of the room and into our own. Morticia follows me in and sits on the bed. She watches as I pick up some grey joggers and a baggy shirt and I shove them on "Where are you going?".

I stay quiet as I go to the door. I put my coat on and I feel in my pockets for my packet of cigarettes. I close my eyes and I bite my lip as I turn around "where are they?". "Love we spoke about this. Smoking damages your health and you shouldn't really be doing it when we have Raven to think of" She says calmly.

She watches as I walk around looking in drawers and cupboards for the packet. "Why do you think i fucking smoke? The kid hates me. My own baby hates me. You can't even deny it. All she does is cry around me. Sometimes it makes me think it would be better if I just..left." I mutter out the last part.

"Mon cheri..you don't mean that" Tish says sadly as she puts Raven in a swing thing we got her. I stay silent. "You need help Nyx..ill call Dr White in the morning and ill stay off work tommorow" she says trying to hug me. I give her a look as I hold a hand up to stop her "No. I don't need help..I need my fucking cigarettes".

She steps back and watches as I reach up ontop of the fridge and I pull the half empty box out. I sigh and I walk out the door. I walk through the quiet hallways of Nevermore as I play with the small box.

I jump slightly as Larissa's office door opens and a tired looking Larissa pokes her head out "I thought I heard footsteps. Care to keep me company?". I look back at the packet before nodding. I walk in and she closes the door behind me. I sit in a chair as she walks around her desk to her own.

"So..how are you?" I notice she is being cautious with her words. I scoff and I roll my eyes "Morticia called didnt she. I'm fine Larissa". "Nyx you are not fine!" She shouts at me standing up. Suddenly I feel like a student again being scolded by her. "You are wrecking yourself and your family by not getting help!" I look down at my lap.

A tear runs down my face followed by many more. I cover my mouth to muffle my sobs which clearly fails as Larissa stands and quickly moves to hug me. "I just..I can't handle it anymore. My daughter hates me and now I'm starting to think my girlfriend hates me. I'm just..a burden in her life" I tell her as I try to stop the tears.

"They don't hate you..Morticia loves you more than anything in the world. She just wants you to be okay. And Ravens a baby..she can't hate you. She may just be giving you a hard time since your a first time parent." Larissa soothes me as I calm down.

I hum as i stare into a space "ill see a therapist..or something. I just.. need to deal with whatever this is my own way". Larissa nods and helps me up. I give her a small smile as I place the cigarettes on her desk "Thankyou larissa..your an amazing godmother already". I spot tears fill her eyes as I leave the room.

I slowly walk back home through the hallways as I think about the last few weeks. I walk through the door and the place is silent. No baby crying. No nothing. I sigh go to the bedroom. I spot Raven laid asleep in her crib next to our bed and I smile. I lean over and I kiss her head.

I take my shirt and joggers off before climbing into bed. I face away from morticia and I stare at the wall. I feel an arm snake around my waist and a sleepy voice whisper "you don't smell like smoke.". I turn around and I smile at tish as I nod. She kisses me gently and I feel her tear running onto my face.

Her lips move to my jaw them my neck. "Its been 6 weeks love" Morticia grins against my neck. I look over to the crib "We have a baby in the room Tish..". She looks at me as her lips brush against mine "Be quiet then Mon cheri".

Morticia kisses me again and her tounge pushes into my mouth. She rolls ontop of me as she takes in my taste. Her hands feel up and down my body before stopping at my front. One hand goes to my hip and the other goes into my pants.

"Let me know if you want me to stop" I nod and I gasp as I feel a finger slide into me. We both freeze when we hear Raven stir. After a few seconds I look over and she us still fast asleep. I nod and Tish starts moving in me. I bite my lip to quieten my noises as she speeds up.

Another finger joins her first and I dig my nails into Morticia's shoulders. Her thumb moves to my clit and she circles it whilst kissing me. My legs start go shake and I gasp a few times trying not to moan as I cum.

I hum as Tish flips us over and lays me on her. I use my finger to draw shapes on her chest. "Ill go to therapy.." I whisper. All I get in response is a kiss to the head which I'm happy with. I close my eyes as I listen to my lovers heartbeat as I fall asleep.