Far beyond broken.

Chapter one - another day of this life...

~Lydia~

I woke up to another day of hell, another day of being me.

No one understands how bad it feels to be sat alone, to not be noticed by anyone or to feel like you're being laughed at and bitched about because you can't be perfect.

No matter what i do, i always have people hating on me who know my name and only my name (if that).

I got the bus to school, aka the route to hell... Only a year left at this dump, each day that passes means one less day to go...

Depression.

Thats my biggest demon of all, feeling so bad, so broken, so down, like life can't ever get any better and the worst part is that no one understands, no matter how hard you try and make them.

And once again i was alone, my parents never had enough time for me, they barely ever acknowledged me... Its almost like i don't exist or like i'm invisible.

School isn't much different, i don't exist either. I have practically no friends, none of the teachers barely ever acknowledge me even when i literally feel like i'm dying inside (emotionally).

Nothing was worth doing anymore, school wasn't worth doing...

The bus pulled up at the school gates, i felt really uneasy about school. I didn't like working by myself or hanging round by myself. Literally it's the worst feeling to have no friends.

I had fifteen minutes before the bell went... Fifteen minutes. What can i do for fifteen minutes? I have no one that i could hang round with or talk to. I can't make friends with anyone, everyone thinks i'm a joke and really i don't blame them.

I sat on a bench near the school gate for fifteen minutes doing nothing, literally. I really am thankful that this is my final year, i genuinely don't think i could cope a second longer.

After what felt like eternity the bell went... Lessons with people i dislike. Once again i would be left feeling invisible, but instead it would be for six hours straight. Six hours of no one noticing me, of no one acknowledging me or if they are it's just to take the mick out of me.

I stayed sat down, the bell has gone. But it only takes me thirty seconds to walk to my first lesson; maths. I was in no rush to get to that lesson or should i say hell. It's not that i find math's hard, i've always been reasonably good at it. It's because of the people in there, i wish i didn't care so much about what people think and say about me.

I saw a pretty girl with long brown hair and hazel eyes walk in with a guy, siblings i presume? They look pretty alike. Although i haven't seen them here before. Perhaps their new, they must be new. Or maybe their just visitors.

As they walked past me, the girl gave me a friendly smile, i returned the smile. I couldn't believe that someone had actually noticed me. If she's transferring here then i reckon she will be one of those popular girls, as soon as she finds out about me, who i am. I bet she won't be as reluctant to smile at me.

The boy however, he looked at me strangely, but he still noticed me, makes a change, people don't usually notice me, especially guys. He looked like he would be quite popular, just like his sister.

I saw a friendship group walk through the gate, a group of girls. They were laughing, gossiping. I wish i could have something like that. Just to know what it's like. Friends are there for you, they have your back and most importantly you can talk to them about absolutely anything.

You see, friendship is something that i've never experienced, that i've never had. People avoid me at all costs, i'm beginning to think that there's something wrong with me altogether and that it's all my fault.

After two minutes of thinking, i decided to go to my lesson. It was a short walk so it really didn't take me that long at all.

I walked into the classroom, no one even payed attention or looked at me. I guess i'm invisible once again.

I went to my seat and the very back of the classroom and dunked down my nerdy rucksack.

Half way through the math's lesson of doing equations and standard form, our head of year walked in with the boy and girl who i had seen earlier.

"Miss is it ok if i talk to the class for a few moments?" The head of year asked my teacher.

"Sure." My teacher replied.

"You may of seen them this morning, you may not of. But we have two new arrivals and they will be in this class with you all. This is Isaac and Allison Harper. Yes they're twins. I want all of you to be nice and welcoming to them. Do you remember your first day at this school? Well that's what it's like for them..."

I switched off. I do indeed remember my first day, it was dreadful everyone judged and took the mick out of me. From day one i've been a loner.

"Take a seat wherever." The teacher instructed. Isaac took a seat next to the schools jock and playboy, Oliver.

"Issac, it's good to see you pal." Oliver high fived him.

Next thing i knew, the chair next to me was being pulled out and Allison sat next to me. Everyone looked at her surprised that she would actually sit with me. Of all people, she could of sat with queen bee, Courtney and been really popular and really liked. But she chose to sit next to me. The girl that no one cares about.

"Hey, i saw you this morning. You look like a really nice person. I hope it's ok that i'm sitting here." She told me, no ones ever been this nice to me before. Seriously it has to be a joke, someone must of put her up to it considering that her brother is friends with The biggest jerk, Oliver.

"If you want to sit there then it's fine." I replied, it was literally the first time i had spoken today. Shocking i know, but when you have no one to talk to, you find that you don't actually talk very often.

"Ok thanks. I'm Allison, Allison Harper. What's your name?" She asked me.She's just too nice. It can't be real. You're dreaming Lydia, it's time to wake up. But it didn't appear to be a dream, it appeared to be pretty real.

"Hello?" She spoke which caused me to snap out of daydream land.

"I'm Lydia, Lydia Smith." I replied.

Ok so maybe she's being serious, but when she finds some other friends, some better friends, I guarantee that she won't talk to me anymore. I give it a week maximum, before she leaves and moves on just like everyone else...

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A/N

Eekk another new book. Ooo i'm really excited for this. The first part is short i know, but please bare with me c:

Please tell me what you think by voting or commenting as it's a new book. Otherwise i'll feel like it's rubbish and will more than likely delete the story all together. But i really don't want to do that.

I will try and update this frequently, no promises because of schools& exams etc, but i'll try my absolute hardest. Even if i don't update, i'm always thinking about my books and my fans <3

Thanks for reading <3

I gave this a little proof read, but be sure to point out any mistakes!

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Thanks!

Freya xx