Far beyond broken.

Chapter Eleven - Why.

~Allison~

Something wasn't right. Based on my instincts, I knew it wasn't. Me and Isaac got out of the car, grabbed our bags and approached the front door. We were going to stay with Lydia for however long is necessary, she may not show it but I know she needs us.

We knocked on the front door, there was no response at all. The door was locked itself. Lydia never left the house, ever. She had no one else either, she had to be in there and she was choosing not to answer the door. she was hurt emotionally. We had to get in, we had to see if she was okay.

"Shall I kick it in? Something might be wrong." Isaac began, I nodded in response. I know I shouldn't think of it this way but Lydia's parents were loaded, she would inherit their fortune. She would have more than enough money to replace this door and I'm sure that she would be okay with it if we just explained that we were worried.

Isaac took a few steps back, before running forwards and kicking the door in. The door instantly busted open creating a lot of commotion.

We looked around her house, we separated I saw Isaac head up the stairs and I went into the kitchen to see a bloody knife on the floor with loads and i mean loads of paracetamol wrappers on the floor, there was at least 7 strips, I wasn't really counting... I genuinely was concerned for my friend... I didn't understand why she would want to hurt herself like this, put herself through this. I know it's hard but she is so much better than some stupid painkillers and a knife.

I sighed before stepping into the living room, there was rope hanging from the ceiling. She really was determined to die, and I really did sympathise with her. It must be such a horrible emotion, to feel this way, to want to die.

I then heard a massive bang upstairs, I literally rushed up the stairs to see the bathroom door kicked in... Oh. I saw Isaac stood over the bathtub, frantically moving weights as fast as he could. I then watched him as he pulled Lydia's lifeless body out of the bathtub. No. please don't say she's dead, she can't be dead...

Isaac put Lydia's body on the floor and began to perform CPR.

"Why are you just standing there!? Call an ambulance!" He shouted at me, god I had never, ever see him like this. I moved away from the door and called for an ambulance. I just hoped it wasn't too late.

****

~Isaac~

Why would Lydia do this to herself? It was my fault! It was, I should of never left her alone... If she dies its all on me and I honestly won't be able to cope with the guilt.

Allison had phoned for an ambulance, but the ambulance was taking too long .CPR had kinda been successful, but Lydia only had a faint pulse and I knew that it wouldn't last for long.

We then heard sirens outside.

"I'll go and get them to come up here..." Allison told me, I nodded in response. She walked down the stairs, to go to the paramedics...

"Just hold on." I whispered to Lydia, before kissing her forehead.

I sighed, why did this have to happen? She needs to make it through, she has to. She's like my sisters only friend so far, she can't leave her and more importantly she can't leave me.

I heard the paramedics make their way inside, I heard them rush up the stair case and they came over to Lydia.

"I performed CPR, she had a faint pulse but she was pretty weak when I found her." I explained.

"Ok. let us do what we do best." The paramedic told me, I didn't want to step aside, I didn't want to leave her. but I had to.

Me and Allison stood as the paramedics were doing all they could for Lydia, they had given her an oxygen mask to help with breathing. I guess she was ok!? Well she was breathing, alive that was a good thing... The paramedics then put her onto a stretcher,

"One of you can come in the ambulance with her" The paramedics told us, Allison gave me puppy eyes no way. I wanted to go with her, I really cared about Lydia...

"Allison, take the car up please. Let me go with Lydia, I need to go with her..." I began.

"I will take the car, meet me at the reception." Allison replied. Wow no discussions, no arguments... She actually gave in for once. That was a first, I thought she was going to whine about taking the ambulance with Lydia. I went down the stairs and outside of the house to see the bright coloured ambulance. I hopped in and we began to drive to the hospital.

***

~Lydia~

Everything was fuzzy. I could barely feel anything, but i could often hear sound around me. It was odd, I was confused.

I felt my eyes flicker, I wanted to wake up... I needed to know what was happening, but my eyelids were so heavy, it was so hard. But I somehow overcame it, my eyes finally flew open... I saw a cracked, creamy colour ceiling above me. White painted walls, the strong stench of bleach. I was in hospital.

I had lived.

My determination was not enough, I lived... I had made it through, I didn't want this... I wanted the complete opposite.

There was doctors all above me, I felt tubes down my throat... Eh I was having my stomach pumped. It really was agony, it didn't feel nice... Believe me.

Why am I still alive?

Why had I survived?

Why did Allison and Isaac have to save me?

Why couldn't they just let me die.

Why.

I didn't want to spend a minute longer on this cruel word. And this, none of it changed anything. And thanks to my "friends" I would probably end up in therapy which would only worsen the situation...

********************************************************************************************
a/n

obviously i wasn't going to kill of my main character or at least not yet :) this just had to happen as ultimately it will form closer friendships with allison and Isaac, or maybe more ;)

I know how I want this book to end, but there are many gaps and i don't know how to write it.

shorter, 1000 words sorry.

unedited, yeah umm sorry i'm so so tired! I'm updating another book and then I'm off to bed.

Thanks for reading

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thanks

freya x