Far beyond broken.

Chapter eight - explanation.

~Lydia~

I hadn't heard from Isaac today, typical really, but what was I expecting? Why did I feel so disappointed about all of this?

I sighed in defeat as I felt my depression begin to kick in. It only took one thing to trigger off my depression,one small thing and then bang. My mood would drop, i'd feel so terrible in a way that no one could even begin to understand. I'd feel like i can't go on, i can't continue. I would want to die, and i would need to take action, do something... I couldn't just sit there with all these emotions and thoughts spiralling in my head. And the worst part would be is how I would be sat there feeling so depressed, so upset, so bad and no one noticed... No one at all, it's because no one cared. That was the harsh reality of things, no one really cared until it's too late; when you're dead.

But I didn't need a trigger for my depression. I was always depressed, I always felt this way... Isaac just made me feel better, he preoccupied me from the harsh reality of my life.

I was dreading school today. It was a new day, sure... I just wasn't impressed with Isaac and what he had done. He could of at least found someone decent.

I sighed before getting my stuff together, school sucked but I was thankful that I had Allison as a friend otherwise i don't know how I would cope, i really don't. I don't understand how I coped before, looking back on my life it was dreadful, it still was. Nothing had changed except from I had a gained a friend but it really did make a difference. She had started checking up on me, to make sure I was okay, it was nice but annoying. She had also agreed to give me a lift to school everyday which was beneficial.

I heard a honk outside, Allison was here... My phone buzzed.

Allison: I'm outside, my brothers in the car too. Ps you have to sit in the back next to my brother, i have loads of stuff loaded on the front seat xD.

Great! Just great! This was all I needed. He was the last person I wanted to see, literally.

My parents hadn't even come home last night, great, just great! I was used to it, I did prefer being alone but i didn't like being in such a big space by myself. I had been in contact with my parents though, my dad was away on a business trip and my mum had gone with him because she practically goes wherever he goes even it it means leaving her only child alone.

I sighed before stepping out of this house. I hated this place, not the place itself, just the people there. The same applied to school.

I saw Allison's car parked directly outside. I had to sit next to Isaac, another bad thing... I didn't want to sit near him. Allison had done this deliberately, i knew she had.

I rolled my eyes before getting into the car and sitting next to Isaac.

"Hey Lydia." Allison greeted me.

"Hi." I bluntly replied, if i'm honest i didn't really have much to say or discuss especially with Isaac about.

"Hi Lydia do you miss me?" Isaac asked me, ugh... I'm not even going to bother responding. Whats the point?

I stayed quiet. I stuck to my previous decision.

"Aww are you mad at me Lydia? I don't see what I've done..." He trailed off. Ignored him once again.

"Perhaps it's because you hooked up with that skank." Allison shrugged, why did she have to say that? Now he'll think i'm jealous! And he already has a big enough ego!

"Are you jealous Lydia?" He asked me.

"No!" I instantly replied.

"You're lying... It's a shame you have nothing to be jealous about." He told me, what did this mean? Was he denying it?Was he lying to me?

"You look confused, perhaps i should explain..." He began, yeah please do. That would be helpful. "I would never go near that girl, have you seen her? She's tried with me, she really has... She's hinted several things, tried to get me over to her place but i'm not interested in her. And clearly she has to lie about it to you because she's jealous of our friendship." He explained.

"How do i know thats true?" I asked him, I probably seemed really possessive and clingy. I was questioning something that had no relevance to me, it didn't concern me at all.

"You will just have to trust me Lydia... If you don't then fine, I understand." He let out a small sigh but it wasn't really noticeable.

"I believe you Isaac." I told him, I was stupid. I had overreacted a lot more than i needed to, I had misunderstood the whole situation, and for that i felt stupid. I didn't even hear Issac's side of the story and i automatically assumed what i was told was true, and that was wrong. And Because of it i believed something that I was completely misinformed about. There's a lesson there, never believe or judge something without hearing both sides/parts of the story.

But i just didn't understand how someone could lie and something like that... It's not right, it really isn't. And at the end of the day their only lying to themselves about a sick twisted fantasy.

But Courtney always got what she wanted, she was such a brat. I was at an advantage because Isaac was my friend and not hers.

"That's good to here smith." He grinned. Really? Calling me by my second name? I didn't like it, i really didn't... But i was glad that i was on talking terms with him again. I felt guilty for all my previous thoughts and opinions about the situation. It was all misjudged and stupid. And lets face it, my life was boring without Isaac.

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a/n

another crappy update sorry. I don't know where this is going but something is going to happen in the next chapter. I plan to update on sunday, no promises though cause things don't always go to plan.

This chapter just about reaches A 1000 words. Whilst writing it i thought wow this is so shit. But i needed to update.

Unedited too, thats just how it is. I'm tired kay. It's like 1am

thanks for reading <3

Merry christmas <3

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freya x