The 1 Rule - haobin

Fear #1

Classes finished, and as I walk through the hallways to exit the school, I see Cho. I smile very lightly, but even that happiness vanishes once I see who is next to her. 

My freshly new made fear and human-sized trauma; Zhang Hao

I cautiously approach Cho, but since her back is to me, she doesn't notice me. Conveniently for me though, Hao does, and I grunt with misery as he glares at me across the hallway. I decide to ignore him and I stalk confidently up to Cho, taking her by the shoulders. She looks at me and smiles. I smile back, but not as broadly.

"Bin! Wanna come over today?" She asks. My heart skips a beat, not knowing if it's because of the nickname, which seems vaguely familiar, or because Hao is still staring at me with angry eyes. he probably wants me to say no

"Sure," I say, smiling. Cho smiles back and dives into her locker, looking for something. I look at Hao and glare back childishly, but I can't help it. We don't speak, but our eyes do. I can tell what he is saying inside his head, probably cussing me out, or threatening me. Me? I just hope the guy doesn't kill me with his bloodshot eyes. 

Cho closes her locker and jumps at my arm, hooking hers around it, making me feel weird. Why is she so clingy all of a sudden?

"Let's go. Bin, do you want to pass by the store before going?" she asks, and even though I'm not looking at her, I can tell that she is smiling.

"Sure," I say, still looking at Hao. We never stop the staring contest, and I don't know why. I don't know if we're trying to prove something, or if we just want to continue communicating harshly through unspoken words.

"Great!" Cho says, and looks at Hao, who immediately turns away from me and looks at her "Hao, go home" she says. The boy shakes his head

"No, I need to buy something as well. I won't bother you guys, don't worry. I'll get going now" he says, and leaves just after giving me another glare. We follow after him, a few meters away. It feels so... wrong? In the sense that his own sister is pretending to not know who he is, just because she is scared. She's scared of her own brother. That's the problem for me. I hate thinking about how they love each other so much, but Cho is simply so scared that everything will leave her because of Hao. I don't know how that feels, but I bet it feels awful.

And maybe it feels awful to Hao as well. I don't know. I don't know anything about the boy. And I don't intend to, but I do feel bad for him to a certain extent. Is he even ok with all of this? Knowing that his own sister wants to avoid him whenever she's around people? Doesn't it hurt? Doesn't he feel tired with all that studying, with all those feelings welled up inside of him? With all that anger, deception, and fear? Does he not feel anything at all?

"What are you thinking about?" Cho asks, breaking me out of my mountain of thoughts.

"Nothing, but everything at the same time"

"Yeah? Stressed about exams?" she asks. I look at her and shrug.

I'm not, to be honest

"Yeah, I'm really stressed" I reply

"Ugh, I get you. Me too. I hate English" she says, pouting.

"You've been improving"

"Thanks. I just wish that the language wouldn't exist at all" she says, then looks back up at me "You're stressed about history, aren't you? That's the subject you hate the most, right?"

It isn't. Math is. I love history.

"Yeah. History sucks" I say quietly. How could she not notice that I hate math, not History? I talk about it all the time.

"I'm lucky I don't have that class. I don't get why some people take it. Why do you take it?" she says.

"Don't know. Sounded interesting at first" I say, shrugging. 

"Huh," she says and doesn't speak after that.

Is her interest in me... really, actually, genuinely there?

♡♡♡

I just read the saddest book ever and it had me bawling and all that shit. Like y'all, believe me, I don't cry very often, and even less when it comes to books and movies, but when I tell you I was bawling my eyes out, I mean I was on the ground weeping with puffy and red ass eyes and questioning my whole fucking life 😭😭😭😭😭

I will never not have trauma from that book

Short chapter hehehehehe....... pls don't kill me

Anyways, Hanbin is feeling neglected lmao. You wanna know what will happen next? Well, you can't, until tmr 🤭😏😏

(non k-pop related, but listen to 'let me let you go' by One Ok Rock)