You Frustrate Me Incredibly

Is this another nightmare?

I lay on my bed feeling my eyes hazy from the morning light beaming through the window and shining on my face. I groan softly rubbing my face. I feel a touch on my waist. The familiar shiver from the silver rings shocks me. He strokes my hip all so gently, immediately making me relax. He brings me closer to him cuddling me into his hold. I hear his soft breathing right next to my ear.

"Eddie", I say softly under my breath but he doesn't answer

I feel his hands slip away from me

"Eddie?", I slowly turn to my other side to face him

He's not there. Where is he? Where'd he go?

"Eddie, where are you?", I say sitting up on the bed

Silence. What?

"I'm here", an echoy voice mumbles as if right next to me.

I shoot my eyes open with a gasp. As I see that I'm still in bed alone I let out a deep breath. Another dream. Great. They always start all so pleasantly. They always feel so real. Like he's right there with me...and then he's not. And I feel that hurt all over again. And then it becomes a nightmare.

I look outside. It's morning. Gloomy though. I glance at the clock and see the time. Hell, it's 6:27 a.m.. It's way too early, but I don't think I can fall back asleep now. My eyes fall on my shoes by the door. Maybe I should go. I wanna visit him.

I shoot out of my bed like a lightning and rush to wash up. Everyone else is asleep. I don't have a ride. I can walk, I guess. Damn it, never skip a work out, right? I wipe my face with a towel and head to get dressed. I throw on a lazy outfit and grabbing my Walkman and I head out the door. On my way out I grab a post-it and a pencil and leave a note to let them know I went out. They shouldn't have to worry.

...

I stand outside the hospital waiting for some time to pass so maybe I won't have to reason with the administration lady to let me in. 7:19. That's ok, right? Whatever. I walk in. There's barely anyone in the waiting area. I don't see anyone in the administration area, either. But I know the way, there's no need.

I walk through the halls. It's really quiet. Almost eeriely quiet. I see his room and without dragging it out I go in.

"..."

He's not here. The bed is neatly made. I step back in confusion to check if I steped in the right room. I did. Oh, wait a minute. It's early. They probably check everything at this hour. Right? I'll just wait for a little.

Sudddenly my eyes fall at a paper on the stand next to the bed. I approach to look at it. It's my letter. Shit, I left it at the counter in the Video Store yesterday. Did the guys bring it here? I guess so. They said they would go visit Max.

I snatch the letter folded in my hand. I flop down on one of the chairs with a sigh. I stare at it for a second. I still remember everything I wrote. And it's so damn painful to remember.

There it is. The ache. I knew it was going to hurt me to write this. But at this point I just want to try and gain some sort of closure. It's not...but it's a start. I feel my throat tighten looking at the letter. The tears right behind my eyes are ready to burst out.

I hear footsteps coming closer to the room. The steps come just after the door, but I keep my head down on the letter. I don't care what nurse is there to ask me to leave.

They're standing at the door in silence. Still. That's...weird.

"..."

"You're a hell of a writer, Y/L/N", my eyes widen stunned. Oh my...