LUNCHBOX FRIENDS | changlix

.25

"do you have any news?" taehyung asked him. felix shivered. what was it with people demanding things from him?

"yes," felix admitted. "bombastic news."

"shoot," he said, sheathing his socked feet from the confines of his shoes. felix instantly scrunched his nose, waiting for the stench, but thankfully taehyung was a hygienic boy.

he didn't want to give the news. if the information is stored safely in his head (and miss yang's database) then he can cheat reality and pretend things weren't as difficult as they seemed.

so, when felix opened his mouth, not sure of what to say, all he did was inhale very deeply... then exhale very loudly.

he must have drifted away for a bit, because, once his eyes refocused on what was in front of him, felix saw taehyung in between the lockers, staring at him with a strange expression.

felix shook his head. "it's complicated!"

"are you calling me dumb?" taehyung, still holding his shoes by their laces, crossed his arms at him.

"no! of course not," felix was quick to say, lest they end up in a one-sided punch-fight. "but, like, it's too hard to explain. it's hard to think."

it wasn't the idea of polyamory that confused felix. it was the fact that he'd woken up at five a.m. to not miss practice, then fell asleep while brushing his teeth in bed and ended up late anyway.

and he had four lessons to endure still!

"jimin's not competition," felix finally said. the act of uttering those words brought him no relief, no satisfaction at admitting the truth. because that wasn't the truth. at least not all of it.

but the words sure had that effect to taehyung, who let his arms and shoes fall towards the ground, face opening in a joyful smile. before he knew, taehyung was grabbing his shoulders and shaking him, rapidly and violently, as though to wake felix from a sleepwalking slumber. he sure wished school was a dream.

"that's such good news! oh ma god!" now taehyung was spinning both of them around in an awkward archaic dancing ritual. felix stumbled over his feet every 2 seconds, only holstered up by taehyung's athletic arms. once their bodies stop, felix's eyes keep spinning. "so you did it? is it over?"

oh, if he knew.

felix didn't want him to know. there was such a virtue in innocence, such a peace of mind that felix couldn't even imagine getting back. felix would know the unbearable weight of knowledge. he knew too much, experienced too much. taehyung probably never had the sacred responsibility of keeping an egg child.

felix's shoulders sagged under taehyung's hands. "i won't lie to you," he finally said.

"not yet."

"not yet...?" taehyung's furrowed brows spoke more than his confused, disappointed voice. "but you just said..."

"i know what i just said!" felix whined. damn responsibilities, damn janet wilson, damn the fucking mission! felix still had four whole 90-minute lessons! "it's jimin's boyfriend! his fucking boyfriend! that's who you're up against. what else do you want from me? that i club him in the face? i'm just one person! one human-sized person with too much homework stacked up at home, a best friend that doesn't realize how good he has it, and a crush that i am in a very, very will-they-won't-they relationship with because we've kissed days ago and he still hasn't said 'felix, babe, what are we?' and i'm too afraid to ask!"

he only realized the volume of his voice had gone up a few notches once he stopped screaming, feeling the rant in his mouth as though the words carried a sour aftertaste.

in front of him, watching felix's shoulders go up and down with a blank expression, taehyung was silent.

he didn't try to argue, didn't press for more. his face didn't swell up red and he didn't punch the nearest locker. or felix.

all taehyung did was raise his chin, looking down at felix with knowledge.

"i know what that's like," he said.

"of course you do," felix grumbled. "unrequited love is kind of your whole thing."

taehyung flinched like in pain. "no," he insisted. "i mean, that too. but especially... i see you. i can smell parental neglect across the world."

well, that was a change. felix laughed. "what? whatever you're saying!"

"i know, felix," taehyung said. "i know what it's like to seek for unreachable approval. i know it all too well."

that was odd. whatever taehyung was projecting onto felix, only used to expose his daddy issues. unearthing all the problems he had with his... dad.

the thought hit him like an electric shock, the excitement of the possibility of completing a fraction of what he was ordered to.

"what do you mean? elaborate? i mean, whatever you want, i'm not going to force you," felix said, but in his head he chanted, please do! please do!

taehyung pressed two fingers to each of his tearducts, frown deepening, then inhaled deeply. felix almost feared he wouldn't talk. but soon enough, there it was:

"do you know why i'm in the team, felix?" taehyung said.

"no," felix responded, because that was the only way to milk an answer. "why?"

"because my dad wants me to," he admitted. his hand fell, defeated, but his frown kept its presence on his forehead. "do you know what i've always wanted to be, felix?"

"no." felix was almost salivating, mentally archiving each sentence that included my and dad. "what?"

taehyung, lifting his bare foot into the nearest bench, placed his hands on his hips and posed as though waiting to be turned into stone, like biblical phenomena. "a model."

"so your dad..." felix scrunched his nose at him, struggling to keep his posture at the sight of him. "... disapproves?"

he sure wondered why.

at that simple word, taehyung's pose faltered. he was now a statue crumbling right before felix's eyes. "yes," taehyung said, then sighed, waving him off. "it's hopeless. i never get what i want."

felix blinked. "so you're giving up?"

"yeah," he said. "whatever."

"no!" felix said, on an impulse. he didn't know why. sure, taehyung could be a suspect in blackmailing changbin, but if he was, felix would've known by now, and his records on miss yang's phone could not confirm changbin's suspicions. if it didn't exist in miss yang's database... well, it didn't exist at all. but regardless of the awful pose, it was taehyung's pitiful speech that spiked felix's interest. maybe taehyung could be a cog in the machine, not an obstacle impeding it from operating. "you can't."

taehyung looked at him surprised. "why?"

felix pressed a finger to taehyung's chest, right next to the uniform's logo. "not only should you not give up on jungkook, you shouldn't give up on your... other dream, either."

taehyung crossed his arms. "yeah? what's the use of it? i already told you, i don't get what i want."

felix grinned up at him. "but i have what you want."

felix had half a second to take in taehyung's confused face before a cracking noise startled him off his feet, darting his eyes to the locker room's door.

finding changbin right in front of it, the egg helplessly lying on the floor.