Flicker - Niall Horan
"Why can't every night be like this?" Izzy asked quietly. I sighed, knowing this is the most at peace we both have felt since I got here. Things weren't full though, they would never be if we don't get in contact with Asterin.
"If you and your boyfriend would stop fighting over everyone else and start fighting for your relationship, things might feel a bit better." I said. I know I was being blunt, but I've always been the one to talk sense into everyone.
"What?" She asked, turning her head to look at me. I turned and looked at her back.
"You need to stop fighting with him about Asterin and Ranboo-"
"but-"
"Listen to me, Isabella. You guys need to start fighting about you and him. If I've learned one things about this whole Asterin shit, it's that you need to stop taking things for granted. You need to live in the moment because time passes you by in an instant. I wish I would have savored my time with Asterin more, Iz."
"You talk about her like she's dead." Izzy whispered.
"She hasn't spoken to either of us in weeks. She has been awol on twitter and instagram. Asher won't respond to either of us and Mom Mom won't respond to you. At this point, she isn't wanting us to be in contact. She may not be dead, but she's not with us anymore. So yeah, Iz, I'm not gonna sit around and wait by my phone for her to call. I'm gonna live and If she calls, I'll be right there to answer her. She needs time, but we can't just reschedule our lives to fit hers either I love Asterin and we both know that, but I'm not gonna change my life for anyone else either. You need to realize that there is only so much you can do and fighting with your boyfriend about it isn't going to do shit and it hasn't. You'll end up losing him too, Izzy." I said. Tears slipped down her face as she stared at me.
"I'm losing everyone."
"You haven't lost me. You haven't lost Will or Toby. Most of all, you haven't lost Tommy. You haven't even lost Asterin, she's just like mia right now. She needs her space and trust me, so do you."
"Not from her."
"Mother fucker you called in the shower, some space is needed." I laughed. She laughed with me before the both of us looked back up at the stars.
"Is it gonna get any better? Like all of us? Like, are we all gonna be okay?" Izzy asked, her voice shaking and small.
I didn't know how to answer that. On one hand, no. This entire situation has fucked with all of us.
Toby is trying to mediate between everyone.
Tommy is completely on Asterin's side and won't even let Ranboo explain his side of things.
Izzy keeps fighting with Tommy because as much of an Asterin supporter as she is, she knows more than Tommy does and thinks Ranboo should be able to have a say.
Will has his escape, but is fucked from everything just as much.
Asterin is fucking missing in action and so is Ranboo.
And I'm just trying to be the glue but there's only so much I can give before I break just as much.
I can't do it all. I can't be here and there and here and there. I can't be here for Asterin and Ranboo. I can't fix the fights between Izzy and Tommy. I try to reach out to Kai but we're so damn awkward because we're really not as close as they are with Izzy and Ash.
Sometimes I feel like things are just going up until they slope back down.
Right now, we're going the fuck down.
But on the other hand, things always work out with us. Our little trio has survived so much and I doubt it'll ever truly breakup. At least, that's what I tell myself. I want to believe it, believe that we are inseparable. I know I should believe what I say, but sometimes I don't and right now. Right now telling Izzy we'll be okay just feels wrong.
Because I dont know and I refuse to say something to make her feel better if it doesn't help me. It's false hope and I've been down that path too many times before.
"Only time will tell, Iz." I whispered after a long, thoughtful silence.
"What if things don't work out?" She asked quietly.
"I don't know, Iz. We work through it. We do what we can to survive." I said softly, trying to let my tears just go away without shedding them.
"When did things go to shit?"
"Haven't they always been shit? I mean cmon Iz. You have a shit family, no offense, but you do. Asterin is probably doing god knows what right now. Tubbo and Tommy are probably streaming some stupid shit just so they don't have to talk about us. God knows we should be because I'm so tired of being real to be honest. I'm so tired of everything. I just want everything to be good again."
"Nobody's really asked how you're doing with everything." Izzy whispered, turning on her side and propping her head up with her arm.
"No, no not really. Nobody but Toby." I said, a smile growing on my face against my will.
Fuck feelings.
"I'm doing so good at playing Cupid." Izzy said, falling back onto her back with a smile.
"Yeah, yeah whatever. He's cool I guess."
"Do you like him?" She asked, grinning at me.
"I like him a lot, jackass." I laughed, shoving her gently.
"You fucker!" She yelled, shoving me back.
I like these little moments of happiness. They're the one's I'll remember forever, even if it comes with the bad parts.
YOU ARE READING
small town girl || Tubbo ✔️
Fanfiction"Care?" Tubbo's sleepy voice projected through her phone's small speakers. Her attention was then focused on why the boy was awake instead of the book in her hand. She'd read the book enough times to know exactly what it said and what was to come ne...
