For You

Unknown Motives

I had an epiphany in my sleep. I suspected my grandfather had somehow visited my dreams, forcing a confidence in myself, but I didn't care. I remained highly embarrassed and fearful of my future approach, but I decided that I would do whatever it took to complete what I was sent revived to do. I didn't like to lose, and in the end, if I managed to help Lexi, the humiliation would be worth it.

     Despite my newfound confidence, I convinced my granddad to take it easy on me. I requested that he not make a big deal of my avoidance of Lexi that day. I needed a day to recuperate; to let time erase the embarrassing event.

     It was rather difficult to forget my small misfortune, when the large bruise on my face received many curious stares and immediate attention from my newest friend.

      "What happened to your face?" Conrad asked nonchalantly, not thinking much of the injury.

     "Not important." I was too eager to brush off the matter. My lack of interest and instant dismissal of the subject only increased Conrad's curiosity. As if knowing the story was an embarrassing one, Conrad smirked. His eyes bore into my soul, commanding me to continue. I probably could have handled the situation without revealing my previous day's misfortune, if not for Lexi's horrible timing of arrival. Walking past us, Lexi paid little attention to her surroundings. She didn't notice us. I, on the other hand, paid her great attention, blushing as my gaze involuntarily tracked her down the hall.

     "Oh no," Conrad laughed, coming to the correct conclusion that whatever was bothering me involved Lexi.

      "I have painfully embarrassed myself," I admitted sullenly. "And I would really appreciate not having to explain myself."

      It seemed Conrad didn't care what I preferred. He remained highly amused and curious of the situation. "She didn't hit you, did she?"

     "No. This is a direct result of my own clumsiness."

     "I didn't take you for the clumsy kind."

      "I'm not," I answered, dismally. "I don't trip on my feet or on my words. I never blush or panic... I don't even know her, but she so much as looks at me and my composure crumbles."

     Conrad threw his head back in laughter, earning many passing student's attention. I nudged him lightly, hoping to shut him up. I didn't need this getting back to Lexi; that would only worsen my already poor first impression. Enthusiastically denying his offer to help me with Lexi, I walked to class with Conrad's friend group. Despite my complaints, his teasing admittedly made me feel better. It made me realize that grandpa may have been right, and that I had been a little melodramatic last night.

     The other boys were as opinionated as Conrad,. They even tried to convince me that Lexi may not be straight. Though I deemed their argument that she had never had a boyfriend invalid as she had also never had a girlfriend, their beliefs lead me to conclude that my soulmate could just be a friend. Grandpa had told me that I was destined to meet Lexi. Destined to help her; not necessarily to love, or be loved by her. I thought it was quite obvious what Lexi may require assistance with and I was convinced that I could achieve it by simply creating a friendship. Of course, given the opportunity to take things further, I wouldn't hesitate. But the idea of just being friends was a lot less pressure. Calmed to the point that I actually managed to take some notes, I didn't spend my entire classes fixated on Lexi.

     I couldn't say the same for my last class of the day. Arriving early for once, I pulled out my Chemistry book, prepared to skim through the last class' reading. Though students piled through the room, I only looked up when Lexi walked in, immediately sensing her presence. Eyes just briefly flicking upwards, I made move to return them to my textbook but froze when I met her gaze. Expecting her to look away, I was surprised that she held it a few seconds longer than she usually would. Despite her flushed cheeks, she offered me a small smile. So much for getting ahead in my homework. I would be incapable of focusing on anything but her. Knowing better than to waste my time, I shut my book and bit my lip to hide a grin. Grandpa was right; I had been exaggerating. She smiled at me. I surmised that meant I hadn't completely ruined my chances. I was well aware that the greeting smile was likely her way of being polite, but there was something reassuring in the action, and I was suddenly hopeful. With fresh confidence, I returned home in a better humour than the previous day.