For You

Flurry Discoveries

Few days after our first date, I awoke on a regular Thursday morning with a light sheet of snow on my window ledge. Having had a few great weeks and a love for winter activities, initially I smiled at the white fluff. Winter was by far my favourite season. As a child I would jump up and down at the sight of the first snow fall of the year, always eager to bolt out of the door to make a snow family. Today the snow was bittersweet. The indicator of the season created a deeper validation of my earlier suspicions. I believed that I had returned few months prior to my death and had until January 23rd to complete my task. At first, I had joked about it with grandpa, but if my suspicions were in fact true, it was suddenly clear to me that I had very little time left. Though I still had no way of telling the exact date, the snow meant it was at least November, potentially even December. I figured I had at most 2 months left... Which just wasn't enough time.

      For my grandfather's sake, I forced a smile, completing my usual morning routine. I tried to live in the moment, looking forward to seeing Lexi and my new friends. Despite my best efforts, it seemed grandpa could read me a lot better than I thought.

     "Jaxson?" he called, just before I could walk out of the door. I cursed under my breath. I had been so close to escaping.

     I paused in the doorway, turning with inquiring brows.

     "Call me if you need anything, alright?"

     My smile faltered. I nearly dropped the act then. His calm and empathetic gaze toying at the lump in my throat, urging me to confide in him. He had always been an understanding man and had helped me work out a lot of problems when he was alive, but there was no working this out. There was no fixing this, and grandpa had already voiced his concerns of my emotional state. I didn't want to give him further reason to worry.

     Lexi's home was a small detour from my usual route to school, but it posed me no bother. Of course, I would jump at the idea of spending more time with her. I was especially grateful for her presence, that day. As hard as I tried, I could not seem to refocus my attention. The icy roads only made matters worse. As snowflakes fell from the sky, I gripped the steering wheel tighter. It was one wrong turn on icy roads similar to those I drove on now that had ended my life. I fleetingly remembered the accident. I remembered the screeching tires and terror as the car rolled over. But there wasn't much else before everything went black. One would think that I'd find solace in the idea that I hadn't been conscious long enough to suffer, but it tortured me to not know the full extents and outcomes of the events of that night. It tortured me to be completely cut off from my old life. I knew that I was the only fatality of the crash. I knew that my parents and sister had survived, but the state in which they came out of it? I had no clue. If not for the many distractions involving my new situation, the lack of details would have long ago driven me mad.

     Lexi jumped into the seat next to mine, shivering from the cold. Greeted by her bright smile, snowflakes glittering in her hair, I couldn't help but feel at greater peace. I heaved a breath of relief. Recounting her busy morning, and her siblings' terrorizing excitement a result of the first snowfall of the year, I found myself laughing, mood lifted as Lexi seemed to act as a repellant of upsetting thoughts.

      Though neither I, nor Lexi spoke of our first date and the ones to follow, it seemed the entire school already knew of our blossoming relationship. That was the thing with small schools; news spread like wildfire. As we walked through the front doors that morning, we received plenty of knowing looks, our fellow students unabashedly studying us.

      Stopping at my locker, Lexi didn't even have time to reach her locker before I was jumped by Conrad, Jay, and Landon. Laughing at the way I startled, Conrad leaned against the neighbor locker, watching Lexi from a far, with a smirk on his face.