The Scenic Route

Chapter 14

Kyle is asleep when they cross the border into California, and he wakes up feeling overly warm, a vaguely familiar scent all around him, like baby powder and sour apple candy. He opens his eyes and moans in confusion when he finds himself clinging to another sleeping person, someone's hand cupped over his ear. He's curled up on top of Butters, who is fast asleep with his head on Kenny's thigh. Kenny smiles at Kyle as he sits up and rubs his eyes, Kenny's hand sliding off of him.

"I took like fifty pictures," Kenny says, lifting his cell phone. "It was the cutest thing ever."

"Sorry," Kyle mumbles, disoriented. Up front, Stan is driving, Cartman asleep in the passenger seat. There's no music playing, and the scenery outside is pure desert. Kyle feels like he's dreaming, and kind of wants to lean down against Butters' back and sleep again.

"Don't apologize," Kenny says. "At least, not to me."

Kyle rolls his eyes. He looks at Stan's reflection in the side view mirror. Stan is wearing his sunglasses, a hopelessly dorky pair of Ray-Bans that might have been cool five years ago. Kyle is surprised he's awake enough to drive.

"So what did I miss?" Kyle asks.

"Other than you cuddling Butters?" Kenny says.

"Ugh, God. Yes, other than that."

"Well. There was a tumbleweed. And Cartman said some stuff about Mexicans."

Kyle groans and leans against the window, folding his arms over his chest. He still feels drained from his episode of drunken panic, and he's thirsty, but the water bottle is up front with Stan and he's not talking to Stan right now. Or Stan isn't talking to him. Either way, they're done with each other.

"You feeling okay?" Kenny asks, reaching over to rub Kyle's arm. Kyle nods.

"I'm fine."

"Stanley?" Kenny says.

"Yes?"

"How much longer until we get to this campsite?"

"Another couple of hours." Stan sounds angry, like he doesn't appreciate Kenny being nice to Kyle.

"How about some music?" Kenny says.

"Maybe later," Stan says.

"Yeah? Okay, then you're gonna have to listen to this instead." Kenny rubs his fingers through Butters' hair, and Butters sighs in his sleep, then starts making pleasured little noises and nuzzling at Kenny's leg.

"Oh, Jesus, fine." Stan jabs a button on the radio, and static-filled accordion music blares from the speakers. Cartman awakens with a shout.

"Did you do it?" he asks, looking around frantically. "You son of a bitch - did you cross the border?"

"We were threatening to earlier," Kenny explains to Kyle, smirking. Kyle can't roll his eyes hard enough.

"Yeah, we just drove through Tijuana," Stan says. "There were midgets having sex on the street, just like you said."

Kenny cracks up, and Cartman grumbles irritably, attempting to tune the radio. He finds a country station and turns the volume down. Butters sits up, yawning and scooting closer to Kenny.

"Hey," Kenny says, knocking his nose against Butters' cheek. Butters beams at him sleepily, clutching at his arm. Kyle tries not to hate them for being so happy together.

"How long did I sleep?" Butters asks.

"Just about an hour," Kenny says. He's scratching Butters' neck, pulling those little noises out of him again. Cartman turns to give them a threatening glare.