Hiraeth || 𝐉𝐈𝐌𝐈𝐍

022

If I had to describe Yoongi in one word, it would be hope. He may seemed to be cold on the outside, but he gave me this hope. This was was saved my life. Yoongi had this hope in himself, this hope that everything would get better and that I wasn't alone.

I loved Yoongi. He gave me happiness nobody else could give me after Jimin's death three years ago.

I never thought, I would find someone to love after what happened, but it turned out, Jimin had sent someone from heaven, to make me happy. I just knew, Jimin was behind this happiness.

But I wasn't the only one who had lost something, Yoongi did too and I wasn't sure if he was ready to love again too.

Yoongi wasn't some normal guy, he really was special. He could lighten up a room with his smile even if everyone was depressed and he looked serious the whole time before.

He could make me laugh with every single joke he made and if he was sad there wasn't any chance not to be sad.

But he wasn't the type of person who showed their feelings. I knew that because I was the only one he really smiled with and seemed comfortable with.

He had trust issues.

There was so much pain in his story and thinking about it made me realize how strong he actually was.

He seemed to be lazy since he was always so sleepy and wanted to chill all day long but I knew how hard he worked and what a good person he really was.

If anyone would say anything against me, he would immediately tell the person with his savage self what a dick he was and that he should immediately shut up.

He respected women, men, old people, like just everyone except people who would make fun of others or just generally hurt others.

I loved Yoongi, he was perfect for me.

Yoongi wanted to become a producer one day and my biggest dream right now was to make this happen, to make him happy.

He really was great at this but he was still unknown so there was still so much work till his dream came true.

Seeing him not enjoying his current job he needed to do for this living broke me. I just wanted him to be happy.

"Yoongi?" I asked. "Yes? What is it?" "I want to talk about our past. I know it's not good to open those scars again, but you can't be in pain whenever you think about it."

He froze for a second. "T-that's not a good idea...I've already told you my story-" "you told me you lost something and that you went through too much to talk about it right now and that what every you didn't really tell me your story."

"N-no. I cant."

I saw how the pain came back into his eyes. "I know you don't want to talk about it, but-" "it's alright. You're right. Let's just do this."

I smiled weakly and he did too. We knew we would get hurt because of our memories if we talked about it, but we knew we needed to.

This couldn't be a topic which would hurt us forever, we needed to go through it. We both knew this.

"Okay, so let's begin. Do you want to start or should I..?" He looked me into the eyes. "I want to listen to your story right now. I want to help you being happy when you think back."

"Oh, that's not as easy as it sounded like.." I looked at him with big eyes. "What do you mean..? I think it's much more painful than I used to think...now tell me the damn story, fuck Yoongi I'm getting worried.."

He smiled that weak smile again and opened his mouth but closed it again. "What's wrong?" I asked. "It's hard to think back...I don't know where I should start."

I nodded understandingly.

"Just start...at the beginning. Start at the beginning." He bit his lips. "I'll try. Okay, so..." he thought for a while.

"Everything began when I discovered the music for me.."