delphinium - remus lupin ¹

twenty-one | the fallout

Dear diary,

The truth is I would never have truly believed that Remus was a werewolf until this morning. Last night was a mess from what I can tell, and I'm stressed about it just dealing with the fallout. I can't imagine how Remus must feel having to live through it all. All because of one stupid prank by one stupid boy...

"Penny... Penny... Wake up!" Sophie's voice crashed through the silence in the girl's dorm in the morning. There was a sense of tension and urgency in her voice, and the hurried shaking was only adding to that.

Penelope's eyes blinked open in the early morning daylight, it was way too early for everyone to be up and out of their beds – yet they somehow were.

"I'm up, Soph! I'm up!" Penelope pushed herself up from her bed, sitting up to rub at her sleepy eyes. "What's wrong?"

Sophie was still panicking over something. She was fumbling to reach for Penelope's hand, needing to get her ready to leave quickly. "You need to come to the medical wing. Remus is there- I need to tell you about everything-"

"Woah, Sophie, slow down." Penelope tried to slow down her girl as she quickly got changed into her uniform.

Sophie's words were jumbled up and spoken quickly, making it almost impossible for Penelope to know what was going on.

"Sorry, let me start again." Sophie sat down on the edge of her bed, waiting for Penelope to finish getting ready. "So much happened last night, I'm going to need to give you a shortened version. Harvey was right, Remus is a werewolf."

Penelope paused for a second, took a deep breath, and nodded her head slowly. "Okay, carry on."

"It was a full moon last night and somehow Snape figured out about Remus. He wanted to find Remus to have 'proof' or whatever. He never would've found him but, for some reason, Sirius told Snape where to go to find Remus."

"So Snape was alone with a werewolf?" Penelope's tone was worried, about both Remus and Snape. Sophie nodded her head slowly. "Are they both okay?"

"They're both in the medical wing. Remus is okay but he's hurting from the lycan-thingy he went through. Snape is... pretty hurt, but we think he'll be okay."

"Oh my Merlin." Penelope took deep breaths, brushing down her skirt so that she didn't look like she had gotten ready in five minutes. "Why would he do that?"

"Apparently, he's tried to expose Remus as a werewolf before-"

"No, not Snape." Penelope turned around quickly,hand on the door handle, ready to leave for the medical wing. "Sirius."

Sophie hesitated for a moment. "Well,everyone's pretty angry with him, but really it was Snape's fault."

She followed behind Penelope down the stairs to the common room. Penelope was furious, which could be justified, but they had all assumed her anger would be on the boy she hated most, not one of her best friends.

That same best friend was waiting for the two girls in the common room, nervous for Remus' safety. Sirius stood from his seat next to the fireplace as soon as he had heard them coming.

"Penny, he's been-"

"Sirius, are you insane? Why would you do that to him?" Penelope screamed. She didn't care about the others in their dormitories. She needed to get her point across and she needed to do it right here, right now.

Sirius laughed awkwardly at his friend's outburst. His eyes flickered between a sorry Sophie and vexed Penelope, unsure of what exactly Penelope was talking about. "Penny, what? I wasn't the one who turned Remus into a werewolf-"

"I'm not talking about Remus!" Penelope turned to look back at Sophie. "Why do you two not seem to care about the person most injured by this whole thing?"

"We do care. Remus is just a higher priority to us. Snape will be fine-" Sophie tried to defend herself and Sirius.

"Unfortunately." Sirius mumbled, loud enough to carry through the common room in the early morning silence.

"Sirius." Sophie hissed, seemingly telling him off for going against her words instead of for his disrespectful comment.

"What is going on?" Penelope shouted. "He could have died, Sirius! And you don't seem to care!"

"But it's Snivel-"

"Oh my Merlin- You don't get it do you?" Penelope laughed in disbelief. "You risked Severus' life because of a petty feud! One that Remus isn't even involved in, by the way! But now whenever he's alone he's going to be thinking it's his fault. That he's a monster. That he doesn't deserve love. You've spent years trying to convince him that isn't true, but he won't care anymore. He thought he was a monster before, and he sure as hell thinks he is now. Snape is in the hospital wing because of him and he knows it. I just wish you would have realised that what you do doesn't just impact you. Most of the time, it hurts a hell of a lot of us too!"

Sirius fell back into his chair with another laugh. "Oh, hi pot, meet kettle. Penelope, you do the exact same thing! Lily is petrified to let you out of her sight because she doesn't trust you to be an impulsive idiot! Do you know how many times she's come back to the common room crying because of you and how much you disregard her feelings? You're just as selfish as I am, and you don't even try to hide it! If I'm a bad friend then you are too. But I know for sure that you would be an even worse girlfriend to Remus." He tilted his head to the side. "That is, if he even wants to be your girlfriend. You know... considering the Amortentia?"

Sirius whispered the last word, carrying so much weight on its own that shouting it would be futile.

"How do you know about that?" Penelope's voice broke when she asked the question. Her eyes were welled with tears and her hands began to shake with tremors.

"Turns out James and Lily really trust each other." Sirius faked a sad expression for his next words. "It's a shame I can't say that for you and Remus anymore. I mean, you can't even trust yourself to love him."