We Could Be Sleeping in the Flowers (A Hermitcraft Story)

Chapter Two: In Which the Neighbors Are Consulted

The next morning when Grian woke up, there were flowers in his hair. Not dandelions this time, which might have at least blended in a bit, but bright stalks of purple lilacs, poking through his hair and making the whole bedroom smell sweetly floral. Grian stared at himself in the mirror for a minute, then shook his head vigorously. It did absolutely nothing except exaggerate an already severe case of bed-and-flowerhead. He looked, he thought, about thirteen years old. "I swear to devs," he said aloud to the mirror, "if I start getting pimples again, I'm packing it all in and moving to Hypixel."

He reached up to tug lightly on one sprig, even as his Year 9 Health teacher's voice echoed in his head. "If you develop a case of flower sickness, don't try cutting or pulling any visible flowers. It will hurt and they'll only grow back bigger. Rest, light exercise and resolving your unspoken feelings are the keys to recovery." He snorted at that idea, but left the flowers alone. For now.

By lunchtime, he'd reached the end of his patience. Dandelions he could've tolerated, even roses or daisies, anything that would've just stayed put! Instead he'd somehow gotten lilacs, big showy clumps of them that flopped around whenever he moved his head and made his head swim like he was living inside a perfume display when he stood still. He wasn't going to be able to build like this, he wasn't even going to be able to take a shower like this! There had to be something he could do.

When he racked his brain, Grian had vague memories of home remedies some of his friends had used to try and get rid of the flowers without having to talk about their feelings. His secondary school experience had been unorthodox at best, but they'd all still been teenagers and Hanahaki disease had been as common as colds. The fact that Grian had never come down with it himself was actually something of a miracle, but it meant that now he had no idea what to do. He needed advice. Given the fact that all of his friends were terrible people, it was advice that was sure to come with plenty of teasing, but he was a desperate man. He strapped on his elytra and took off towards Spawn Village, leaving a trail of petals in his wake.

The first signs of activity Grian spotted were at Joe's house, so he spiraled down for a closer look. He found Joe and Cleo enjoying the pleasant afternoon, with Cleo sitting under an umbrella and making notes in her armor stand book, a tall glass of harming potion at her elbow. Joe was sitting on the low wall of the stairway with his guitar, strumming and singing a deeply bastardized version of "Another Somebody Done Somebody Wrong Song" that seemed to be mostly about shulker boxes. At the noise of rockets overhead they both absently lifted shields to cover themselves, then lowered them again when nobody got hawkeyed.

"Howdy, Grian!" Joe called as Grian came in for a landing. "I like the new look."

Grian grimaced, raising a self-conscious hand to the flowers wending through his hair. "Yeah, it's the new fashion for spring," he quipped. "Everybody will be doing it soon."

"Not me," Cleo pointed out, barely glancing up. "The snakes have allergies."

"That's rough," Grian sympathized wryly. "It's certainly the season for it." Even thinking of his own situation was enough to make his throat tickle. He cleared his throat a couple of times, careful to avoid any coughing.

"Sounds like it's going around." Joe opened his inventory and tossed Grian a bottle of water. "I'd offer you some sweetberry juice, but the house is haunted." He strummed a few idle chords on his guitar. "And I wouldn't sample Cleo's if I were you, it's got a kick."

"The house isn't haunted, he's just filled it with live shulkers because he's an idiot," Cleo pointed out, not without affection. "And he's got a creeper blocked up inside a wall."

"That creeper was a gift from a friend," Joe replied, unperturbed. He turned back to Grian. "So, what brings you by the house of horrors? Just out taking in the air?"