The End

Chapter 27: Oceans Away

Patrick glanced around the hotel room he would call home for the next several weeks. He set his phone down and his lock screen took him by surprise. It was a picture they had taken on set in the fall. It struck him suddenly that though they were a world away from each other, he was free to love her without restriction.

Her name openly listed in his favorites, her picture on the cover of his phone, messages from her collecting in his inbox without expiration. He would say goodnight to her from his bed. For now, that would have to be enough, he'd appreciate the small things.

His phone rang again, he turned back quickly. Jillian's name appeared on his caller ID. He sighed lightly remembering that he wasn't exactly free.

Jillian didn't look up from her computer but Patrick could sense the animosity in the room. A nearly empty bottle of wine within arms reach. "How was work?" Her tone sharp, the way it used to be about his work.

He wasn't sure if he was triggered by her voice or if it was that he could still smell Ellen on his skin, but he couldn't lie. "I wasn't working," he confessed, "they wrapped last week." Patrick collapsed to the chair next to her.

Disarmed by his honesty, she looked up from her computer, "you were with her..." Jillian had also clearly been triggered.

Patrick a little lost in thought spoke without thinking, "yes," he corrected himself immediately, "no..." he was confused now, "who?"

"I'm not going to say her name," Jillian's voice was firm and hurting.

"I was with Ellen. It's her birthday," he shrugged and felt as though he'd confessed to an affair that had been decades long.

"Jesus, Patrick," Jill threw her hands in their air, "could you not have led with that?" She on the other hand felt ironically comforted by the fact that he'd been with Ellen. 

His mind still swirling , "What?" was all he could manage.

"I thought you were," Jillian shook it off and felt as though she had overreacted, "Why didn't you just tell me?"

He didn't have the heart to crush her, to tell her he'd spent the day in bed with Ellen. That he'd loved her for as long as he could remember, "I," he stuttered, "I don't know."

"Well you should have," Jillian's voice was firm but relieved. She glanced to the clock, "God, it's not even 6. I drank a whole bottle of wine." She sighed, "I need to lie down."

Patrick nodded quietly. Jillian kissed his head as she passed.

Hi Jill," he answered softly.

"Hey," her voice eager. "Getting settled in?"

"Yes," his voice trailing off a bit as he tucked his toiletries into the bathroom. "The room is great for now. I'll be in a guest house once we get to Ireland."

"Well, I guess I'll wait to come visit then," she joked.

He laughed though the thought of it made him nervous. He'd hoped Ellen could sneak in a trip a time or two. "I'll send you pictures." Patrick took a beat and then, "How are the kids?"

"They are great," Jillian nodded, "Tallulah's doing well at school and the boys are well... you know them."

"Good," his voice was genuinely relieved.

"Oh gosh," she said suddenly, "You should get some sleep. Isn't it after midnight there?"

"Yes," Patrick grumbled. "I doubt I'll be able to sleep, but I should try."