• M a k t u b : Spirit of the desert • [ Taekook ]

37. Jungkook, enjoy

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⚠️ Warning: Slight mature content

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It wasn't until he found himself in bed with Taehyung one night, in Busan, that he could see how unconsciously he had been striving for the happiness he hadn't had with Nadira.

For Jungkook, it was scary to stay awake with someone sleeping next to you that you don't love. It has always worked in him some panicky precipice disproportion. That's why he liked to spend nights in the desert, far from his bed and from her.

At some nights he would watch Nadira sleep peacefully while the presence of the silent depths of the subconscious would take him to some other place. His true being would then merge with the primordial and float to the surface.

He would sit for a long time and look at the moonlight which would illuminate all of Marrakesh and Jungkook knew then it was one of the most painful aspects of his marriage.

That silence and thinking about another person.

Between the sleeping and the awake spouse, who were seemingly within reach, there would be an entire desert of all geological ages. His loneliness would grow like a huge tumor, while the internal wound would expand to the limits of endurance.

Then he would scream his name at the top of his voice and cry like rain until he restored temporary peace. Though disguised, the wound would still be there and grow steadily and silently, like a hole in a mulberry leaf under the mouth of a silkworm.

Without Taehyung, Jungkook was nothing.

Mere emptiness and eerie deadness.

- Why aren't you sleeping, my love? - the deep voice of a seemingly sleeping man asked quietly. Jungkook was silent for a few seconds and then smiled a little and looked at the other, whose dark orbs were unwaveringly staring sleepily at the younger.

- I'm thinking about you. About us. About happiness. - he whispered.

- Hmmm... can't that thinking wait for the morning? Come on, lie down, it's cold without you here. - he said that and patted the void next to him still looking at Jungkook.

- Of course. - with those words, he placed his naked back next to Taehyung's warm body and closed his eyes, hoping to finally catch some sleep.
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The morning in his arms brought peace.

Jungkook could even say he enjoyed it even though he only slept for a few hours. Thoughts tormented him, and he could very easily have wandered off somewhere with such thoughts, which wasn't exactly a bright place.

He was tormented by the sin of adultery and the lie he peddled to Nadira, not only this time but also years ago. And as much as he wanted to torture himself again by thinking about what he could have done differently, the smell of fresh coffee filled his every sense.

Although his favorite was the strong black coffee that Ali would have been happy to make for him when he was in Morocco, Tae was pretty good at that too.

He smiled again as he shifted in the warm bed, shifting his body into a different position. His one hand was raised above his head, slightly bent at the elbow, while the other rested on his stomach. Eyes still closed and mouth slightly open, and senses intoxicated by his presence, his scent and his voice.

- Good morning, darling. - Jungkook could have sworn he was ready to listen to that voice for the rest of his life.

In that split second he was ready to throw away everything he had built and created for years just because of that voice.