Saving Sin

Chapter 5

It had been about two years since my last official training with the gang.

We didn't perform like the neighboring gangs in the city, we didn't just shoot blindly into people or kill them for the hell of it.

My father was ruthless once and in meeting my mother that changed. She was the daughter of a gang leader and he was the son of a drug lord.

When he saw her, he knew instantly that he was in trouble. She was everything he had hoped to be and in marrying her, they established the rites of the gang.

The first and most important rite, was to prepare for all situations. They left no room for error and that's why we were respected.

I slipped out of my shoes, pressing bare feet into the mat.

The familiar texture pulling me to a place I had forgotten.

Mars was standing on the opposite side, his eyes eager to watch me, his hands ready to touch me.

I swiped the box cutter out. Mars was the defensive and he used his strength well.

I charged him, hands moving swiftly but not fast enough, with not so much as a flick of the wrist he flips me onto my back.

I lay there in an attempt to catch my aching breath, and he doesn't move to help me up.

I stand slowly, the tough tissue of my wound beginning to bleed as I work it.

I charge into him again,sliding down to my knees as I pass the blade on his inner thigh.

His jeans rip, I use my leg to drop him to his knees, my hand fisting his hair as I hold his head back, throat shining in the light.

I make a move to stand up and Mars has flipped me over his shoulder and I'm looking up into his eyes.

He eyes the blade now on the floor, before slowly slipping his hand in mine. The look of admiration that is glowing through him has my breathing quickening.

I know instantly what he's expecting and as he kisses me I grab the blade again.

I press it firmly against his neck and smile against his lips when he stiffens.

"You can't lose focus babe." I say before pecking him again.

His laugh tickles my face and when I drop the cutter to circle my arms around him he pins me to the floor.

We were such violent lovers and I couldn't help but be pleased.

"I've been focused on you since day one."

His words pin me to the mat even after he's allowed some of his weight off of me.

Eli snorts loudly and I remember that we have an audience.

Mars reaches out a hand to help me up and I pull him to the ground with me.

He seems startled at first but then an amused expression passes his face.

I say "I love you pretty boy." While standing up and walking out of the arena.

Eli pats Mars's back furiously and says

"She's one hell of a girl ain't she."

"One hell of woman and I'm proud she's mine."

Mars's response has be blushing and I take the compliment with a good heart .

The only thing that makes this crazy situation better is knowing that he loves me regardless of my lifestyle and Kennah loving me regardless of my choices.

Thinking back on it, both of them love me unconditionally and its a love that Quentin didn't possess.

Where he was all take and destroy, Mars was about giving and fulfilling. He had helped me see that I wasn't just an object but a person and someone deserving to be loved.

He loved Kenny with the same fierceness and I would never question is loyalty.

He was mine as much as I was his.

Mars didn't expect me to be in the gang nor did he expect me to change my life for my daughter , he allowed my decisions to be my own.

Whenever I was weak he reminded me of my strength and he was really all I would need.

My love, my protection and my salvation.

I laid down, back across the bed, my eyes fluttering closed as I thought about the small victories I had won while being with Mars.

Everything seemed to be so inadequate at the time, but I realize that those were the things that mattered.

I had a man, who saw me covered in tattoos, who found me bathed in blood, already pregnant and alone, who was struggling- and he took me anyway .

Everyday he fights for Kennah and I to live and be free from harm. He's made our safety his mission and the least I could do was offer my assistance.

Loving a man like him would never be a suitable amount anymore, it would never be enough, he deserved to have me fighting my his side, willing to die for him the way he would for us.

He deserved a woman who would bare his children and his battle scars .

I wanted to be that woman, I needed to be that woman and today he showed me that I was.

With this small truth, I closed my eyes and drifted off to sleep.