Saving Sin

Chapter 10

My baby girls face is tear stained and she clings to Mars as if he's the only person in the world who can save her.

My daughter is looking at me with wide and wet eyes, and all I can manage to do is pace the room.

I've never had a problem comforting her before , but I realize that I need to be comforted myself. It's tiring being so strong all the time and Mars has managed to master the art of it.

He pulled Kennah out of the cabinet and has been holding her in his arms for the past hour or so.

She doesn't speak, she just lets the tears fall freely from her face. When she does stop crying it's because she's asleep and exhausted.

I'm partially appalled, and extremely pained. My daughter is too small to have so many tears leave her beautiful face but she's also too strong to look so broken.

I want to take her in my arms while Mars takes me into his but I can't make myself go to her.

My mind is cluttered with thoughts, many murderous, some violent, others depressing, and only a few hopeful.

Since moving back, my safety has been compromised ten fold.

The point of living with my father on the estate was the massive amount of security it entailed, but his security wasn't worth gorilla shit.

Since coming home, I've been attacked, shot, hospitalized, watch my daughters father die, have Kennah's life threatened...twice.

What kind of life was that, my beautiful little darling was being used as leverage and she wasn't even in the hands of the enemy.

It was the mind game they were winning with me. Physically I was ready to go to war, mentally I was a little fucked up at the moment, and emotionally I was royally destroyed.

They had managed to get into my head and make me question my choices. I didn't even have a good idea on who they were.

Quent's crew wouldn't just stand by and let his death go unpunished, but the threat of Ryder seemed larger.

Were the two on the same side? What angle were they playing at ?
Why was my daughter involved?

So many questions and not enough time in the world to have them answered and ready to fit into the fight, in time for an attack.

I had come to accept my fathers new found cowardice. He was no longer the blood hungry man he had been when I was a girl, he had become soft and numb to well being of his familia.

I thought maybe this was because of my mothers death, losing her had destroyed him, and instead of becoming more of a ruthless monster, his authority slowly chipped away.

He was still living in fear of what could happen to me and instead of protecting me, he protected himself by pushing us away, by burying his feelings inside of whores.

It made so much more sense now. The reason he didn't come for me at the apartment, why he was so eager to take the shot and get rid of Quentin, it was no longer about me and his granddaughter.

It was about him and protecting his assets. As warped as I'm beginning to think my father is, he knows that we are still family and some part of him on a human level, not the drug lord but a father, knows he isn't the man for the job anymore.

The men who lived here were only alive and strong because Mars and my brothers had been taking charge.

No one could have a successful gang , without the right kind of people to set it into motion.