hits different - t.s

1

Tree

Okay, so I'm sorry I've been out of office for the past week & not really told you much about why other than the fact it's a personal matter with one of the clients.

Charlotte

Wait are u dying or something

Omg you're dying

You aren't responding, you're probably dead rn

Tree

I was grabbing a coffee. Why would you think I'm dying/dead?

Charlotte

YOU'RE TREE PAINE

YOU NEVER APOLOGIZE ??

REMEMBER THAT TIME YOU ACCIDENTALLY FED ME SOMETHING WITH NUTS IN IT, I HAD AN ALLERGIC REACTION & AFTERWARDS YOU SAID "MUST BE A SKILL ISSUE?"

Tree

Are you done? I have an important assignment for you.

Charlotte

Yes, don't worry I'll just continue ranting in therapy later

Tree

Awesome.

So, you used to be a nanny before working for me, right?

Charlotte

Yes?? Did you even read my resume when you were hiring me??

Tree

No, I just went off vibes & the fact you knew how to operate a phone and use microsoft word

Anyways, tell me more about it.

Charlotte

Uhm, I worked for the family for 2 years. It was a live-in position and I looked after twin girls. They were 5 when I started, and 6 when they no longer needed a nanny. Nothing really special.

I loved the girls, and I still video call with them every so often. It was just basic stuff like cooking meals, managing their hygiene, keeping them alive, tutoring them, driving them to school

Are you sure you aren't dying? In the time we've worked together I can't remember a single time you've asked such a personal question

Tree

For the next few months, you will be a nanny again

Charlotte

Oh my god, you're pregnant. I wish you were dying instead. That would be so much easier to manage

Wait you haven't had sex in five months, I would know because I make your schedule-

Tree

As much as I'm fond of you and enjoy having you as my secretary, please don't mention the fact I schedule my sexual encounters again. No, I'm not pregnant.

I do, however, have someone I need you to take care of. Preferably live-in, preferably you will sign another NDA even more iron-clad than the one I gave you when you started.

Charlotte

Wait what? I'm so confused. You hired me four years ago to be your secretary, and now you want me to babysit some rando for you & live with them while I do it?

I literally can't remember the last time I changed a diaper or rocked a child to sleep. That's not in my job description. Besides, I work for you, not for this hypothetical child

Tree

Look, I'll pay you double your regular salary, AND cover your rent while you're living with the person in question, who is not a child. Though she sure has been acting like one lately...

I can give you more information after you sign the NDA I left on your desk.

Charlotte

Wait when were you at the office? I haven't seen you in like a week-

Tree

I snuck in yesterday when I texted you & made you go grab my laundry.

Now, sign the NDA, send me a picture, and we can continue with this conversation.

Charlotte

*image attached*

Please tell me about this idea so I can reject it & go back to my actual work (:

Tree

I need you to watch Taylor.