you're on your own, kid

Chapter 2 - Forgetful Secrets

"So, why did you move?" I asked her, as I put a little more of the ice cream into my mouth. We had stopped at my favourite ice creamery in the city, after begging Lena to make the stop.

"Better club. Better opportunities," she said, plainly.

"You also wanted to play with me," I joked.

"Oh for sure," she answered. "I saw that Mila Bakker played for Wolfsburg so I wanted to play for Wolfsburg."

"Thought so," I responded. The teasing was lighthearted and fun; I enjoyed feeling these sorts of friendships with people.

"What about you?" she asked me. "Why'd you move?"

"Same reasons, I assume."

"Worth it?"

"Every second."

The following day we trained some more, preparing for our first game of the season. No crowds were going to be watching us this season, which we knew was going to change some things. We weren't able to have our fans, cheering us along. We would have to do our own cheering.

We were set to verse SGS Essen, and as usual, I started on the right. I almost all our matches, and each time I set foot on the pitch, wearing the green, everything felt right. Alex started as the striker, and Ingrid was back in midfield, with Lena.

"First game!" I said to my new friend. "Don't fuck up."

"Thanks for the confidence," Lena joked.

"Obi has got this," Alex said, messing with Lena's hair.

We walked onto the pitch in near silence. There were no cheering fans; no screaming children. Just silence. Pure and utter silence.

It was slightly deafening; my ears were ringing.

"This feels so weird," I whispered to Ingrid.

"I don't like it," she responded.

"Neither."

The game soon commenced, and I felt, once again, like this was where I belonged. It was everything. The ball at my feet, and the grass under my boots, was where I was at home. There was no outside noise, just me and the game. That was it. That was all.

We started off the match strongly. We had possession and were not giving them the time nor space to make any moves.

We had a corner in the 16th minute, and as I stood to take it, I was aiming to curl it in, as close to the far post as possible. As it streamed through the air, I knew it was going to be on a platter for one of my teammates to get their heads on.

It fell to the ground, but before I knew it, it was kicked in. Lena had her first goal in green, and I ran up to her, jumping on her to celebrate the opening score. Alex ruffled her hair once more, and Ingrid hugged me too.

"Nice corner," she said, before we were set to kick off.

The first half finished 1-0, and as we went back into the locker room, I sprayed Lena with my bottle.

"Look who got her opening goal!" I screeched. "Didn't take long."

"Mils," Alex said. "We've still got a half. We can celebrate after." I nodded at my captain, knowing that without her, my brain would always float away. I needed that pull back to reality sometimes.

Lena chuckled at me, and I had to try to withhold the smile. I soon went over to sit beside her, before we were to head back out.

"I got in trouble," I whispered to her, joking.

"Is this a regular occurrence?" she asked, teasing me.

"Maybe."

We headed out for the second half, and within 5 minutes, we were awarded a penalty.