you're on your own, kid

Chapter 13 - The Infamous Quiz

"What do you mean?" I asked her, confusion splattered on my face.

"I- I just don't think I can do this anymore."

"Do what?"

"This."

"What?"

"I- I don't know how to explain it." I looked at her, my eyes finding hers. Something was changing, right in front of me, and her both. We knew it.

I knew what she was going to try to say. I felt it. There was something deeper here. I was just scared about what this could all mean. Scared about what she wanted to say.

"Ok."

"Ok?" she repeated.

"I'll move out." As I spoke, the moon lit up her face, and there was a glimmer of disappointment. Or at least, I thought it was disappointment. "Is that not what you want?"

"I guess." I moved back down onto the seat, leaving the stars behind, wanting to get back to the apartment as soon as possible. Lena stood up there for a few more moments before crashing back onto the seat, and turning the engine back on.

"I'm sorry if I did something," I said, softly, looking out the window. I didn't want to talk but something prompted me to say more.

"You didn't do-" but she stopped speaking. She cut herself off. Neither of us spoke, for the ride home. It was silent. It was as if I could hear the nighttime whistles. So dim. So quiet.

I moved out that night. She didn't want me there, and if she didn't want me there, neither did I. I went to Jill's apartment, hoping to crash on her couch that night.

"You don't have to go," Lena said to me, as I packed up a few of my things.

"You wanted me out," I replied.

"But..."

"Lena, I am going." There was an anger in my voice that I hated myself for, but I knew I had to get out of here. Things were changing.

I got to Jill's apartment, and even though I was coming unannounced, I knew she would be okay. She always was.

"Hey," I said, in her doorway.

"You alright?" she asked, not opening the door fully.

"Yeah. Can I crash here tonight?" She looked at me, before nodding her head.

"Yeah, you can. But, I need you to do something very un-Mila like, okay?"

"What's that?"

"Keep a secret."

"Oh god, Jill. Secret?"

"Yes." She soon opened the door to reveal Elke, standing there in her pajamas. It was 11:30 pm.

"What are you doing here?" I laughed, with a smile on my face. Elke chuckled, as Jill let me inside. "This is so interesting. You both have made me forget about my absolutely horrible night. Please, tell me, how did this happen?" They looked at each other as I made myself at home on Jill's sofa.

"Instead of worrying about us," Jill started to say, "what happened? Why are you here?" I groaned not wanting to talk about it but knowing that Jill wouldn't let it go until I did.

"I'm not sure."

"I'm going to bed," Elke said, leaving Jill and me in the living room.

"So, tell me, what happened?" I looked at my friend, and there was a care in her heart that transcended almost everything. Our friendship would never change. It was undying; eternal.

"I'm not sure," I repeated.

"Who decided that..."

"She did. She just said that she didn't think we should live together anymore."

"Do you know why?"

"She didn't say."

"Did you ask?" I shook my head. "Oh god. Milly, I love you, but you are so stupid."

"What do you mean?"

"Can't you see?"

"See what?"

"There is more to you and Lena than you think." I knew what Jill was trying to say. I could understand what she was telling me from a mile away.