you're on your own, kid

Chapter 18 - The New Year Debacle

I headed back to Germany later that week with Lynn and Ivy. We had plans to go to the party that Lena was raving on about. Jill and Elke were going to head over too, but were on a different flight to us.

"What are you thinking about?" Ivy asked as I stared at the screen in front of me, the plane moving ever so slightly with the turbulence outside.

"Nothing," I replied. To Ivy's right, Lynn was fast asleep, their fingers interlocked.

"We have discussed this many times before, Ludmila. You're the worst liar. What's wrong?"

"I'm just a little anxious."

"Act confident, and no one will question you." I looked at my sister, my eyes smirking as she had a smile on her face.

"I hate that."

"It's true."

I rolled my eyes, leaning against the window, seeing the grey clouds beneath us. There were so many things I wanted to say. So many thoughts I had bursting through my brain.

When we arrived back in Wolfsburg, Ivy followed Lynn back to her apartment, whereas I clambered my way to my own. I wanted to see her, and maybe this interaction would change everything. Maybe seeing her would be the catalyst for our worlds to evolve.

"I'm home," I called out, opening the apartment to find it empty. I looked around, peering in her room and on the balcony, but no one was in.

Mila: hey where r u?

Lena: just out getting food. Ill be home in 20

I breathed out knowing I would be seeing her shortly. 

I unpacked my bags, throwing some clothes into the laundry and the others back into my wardrobe as I waited for her to come back. I didn't want to sit by the door, but the longing was getting too much. I was both nervous and excited at the same time.

After what seemed like an eternity, there were two knocks at the door. I straightened my hair, trying to tame the frizz from the plane. I sprayed an obscene amount of perfume, as I still hadn't showered since coming home.

Just breathe I thought to myself, as I walked to the front door. Wait, why was she knocking?

As I opened the door, it wasn't Lena who stood before me.

"Christiaan?" I exclaimed, seeing my old roommate from Amsterdam standing in front of me. 

"Hi," he replied, a cheeky grin on his face. He soon walked inside picking me up, and hugging me softly. "Long time no see, Milas."

"What- what are you doing here?" I asked as he placed me back down on the ground. Something dropped in my stomach. How would I explain this to Lena?

"I'm coming to visit!"

"I-" but just as I was about to speak, another figure soon turned up in the doorframe. It was her. It was Lena.

Our eyes caught, and my heart turned to her. It was hers. It would always be hers.

"Who's this?" Christiaan asked. I turned to him, before looking back at Lena. I couldn't speak. Words weren't forming. Nothing was coming out.

"Mila?" she questioned, seeing the man who stood ever so close beside me. There was a sadness in her eyes; I felt it within my own too.

"Christiaan, this is Lena; Lena, this is Christiaan. Christiaan was my roommate in Amsterdam. Lena is my- my- my roommate here." I looked away not wanting to say anything anymore. I wanted to disappear forever. I wanted to crawl away and hope this day would come to an end.