FALL FOR YOU

5 stages of greif

I wake up in an empty bed. The sheets were warm, they smelled like Matt. However he was nowhere to be seen. I reach for my phone under the pillow to check the time.

11:55 am

"Ugh" I groan, rolling onto my back and rubbing my eyes with the palm of my hands. My eyes were still sore from all the crying I did last night, even throughout the night I couldn't catch a break. I think I cried pretty much all night long. Thank god Matt was there.

The thought of him last night made my chest warm and I didn't know why I was feeling this way. I mean yes I may have a slight crush on him but we're just friends. I still remember how it felt when he held me as I cried, his gentle fingers stroked my hair till I fell asleep. I could tell he was trying to stay awake to make sure I went to sleep first.

I gather the strength to sit myself up and I look around the room. My pile of wet clothes on the floor were gone. Then a gentle knock on the door makes me head swiftly turn to the door.

"Come in" I rasp, my voice broken and quiet.

The door slowly opens and Chris walks in. He locks eyes with me and sees the state Im in. I guess it was visible how much I cried last night because he sighs and gives me a half smile with obvious sympathy in his eyes.

"Hi" he says softly.

"Hi" I say back, looking down at my hands in my lap.

He walks over and sits in front of me on Matts bed.

"Matt told me what happend..." he finally says after watching me sit in silence for a moment.

I close my eyes and exhale, letting my brain relax and wipe the memory from my mind. I didn't want to think about it.

He tilts his head to the side and lowers himself a little to reach my eye level as I open them again.

"Im sorry y/n"

I could hear the hurt in his voice which made my heart ache. I feel a tear fall down my cheek and I feel it hit the back of my hand before I wrap my arms around his shoulders and pull him in for a hug. He shuffles closer and embraces me back.

I couldn't bring myself to say anything with the lump in my throat so instead I just take in his warmth knowing I could've lost him forever.

"You don't deserve any of this y/n, you're the kindest and most loving person I've ever met in my life" he says this with confidence, again making me tear up as my cheek is pressed against his shoulder.

He grabs my upper arms pulling us out of the hug and making me look him dead in the eye.

"You hear me?"

I stay silent, my lip slightly quivers as i look into his blue eyes.

"You don't deserve this, you're worth so much more"

His thumbs rub my arms as he sighs.

"You're not alone in this alright? You're like my sister, I'm not going to sit here and watch you torment yourself over this stuff like I've seen you do before. You know that me Nick and Matt all care for you so so much and we're always going to be here for you. And I know you know that because look how long we've stuck around" he chuckles at the last part which makes me smile.

"You can talk to us about anything. And if there's anything you don't feel comfortable talking about with Matt and Nick you always have me alright?"

I sniff, pulling Chris back in for a hug "I love you"

"I love you too man" he rubs my back.

"Ok you can get off now" he states practically gasping for air because of how tight i was hugging him.

"Sorry" I giggle, sitting back and wiping away my tears.

"Ah that's alright" he shrugs as he fixes his hair.

"Anyway come on, I have something to show you" he leaps up from the bed holding out his hand.

I take hold of it and he leads us down the stairs to the kitchen.

"Taadaa"

I was shocked to see on the counter there was a pile of waffles coated in maple syrup, powdered sugar and fruits. Beside it was a bouquet of flowers and a small envelope. Matt and Nick look up from there phones when they hear us enter, both giving me wide smiles. My heart filled with joy, knowing that the small gesture may have taken them little effort but it meant the world to me. I think they knew that though which is why they looked so proud of themselves.

"Aw guys..." I walk over and spin the vase of slowed to get a better look at them.

"We already ate that's why there's just the one" Chris exclaims referring to the waffles.

"Thanks guys" I look at them with overwhelming gratitude.

"It was Matt's idea" Nick nudges over to Matt who looks down to the floor smiling with a red tint to his cheeks.

"Ok now open the envelope" Nick says with excitement, a cheesy smile on his face.

I grab the envelope and open it, pulling out a folded piece of paper.

"This was my idea!" Nick adds quickly before i look at it.

I giggle at him and unfold it. I hold it out open in front of me, seeing the word 'HAWAII' and immediately getting confused.

"Hawaii?" I furrow my eyebrows and look back up at Nick.

"WE'RE GOING TO HAWAII BABYYY" he grabs me by the shoulders and starts shaking me from side to side.

Then reality kicks in.

"Hawaii?! You're taking me to hawaii?!" I look at him wide eyed.

"YEAH DUDE" Chris jumps in.

"Why?!"

"Because you deserve it! Plus it's just in time for your birthday next week too!! We're leaving tonight!" Nick says with insane enthusiasm.

"There's no way" I stutter in absolute denial.

"WAY" Chris butts in once again.

"When did you guys do this?"

"This morning" Nick says all sly, clearly very proud of himself "felt like it would be good for you to get a couple weeks away, take a break"

"Aw thanks you guys" I pout my bottom lip, individually giving them all a tight hug.

When I hug Matt I sit next to him on a stool next to my waffles and grab the knife and fork.

"Thanks for the waffles by the way" I whisper to him "and the flowers".

"You're welcome" he smiles "pretty flowers for a pretty girl"

I blush uncontrollably, oh god.

****
wow look who's back.