my TMF book

little thing (TW: animal death. this is a vent)

i'm coping decently well with the passing of my guinea pig. He died with all of our other animals around him and my mom was holding him. i only wish I could have been there. he died the morning I got back from my trip. we have his body to bury in our new land that we are getting, but I hold him and I miss the sparkle in his eye. I miss saying goodnight to him, petting him all the time, giving him plain cheerios (his favorite), and hearing him squeak. he was almost eight years old, so he lived to his life expectancy, and I know he lived a good long life, but it still hurts to know that he's never going to burrow in my hair, take a nap on me, sit on the counter with me, or play ever again. i'm debating burying him with his towel, or keeping it. he loves the towel, and since he was a guinea pig, he had no collar, harness, or anything. it would be the only thing I have of him besides his cage and I don't know how I would hold up looking at his empty cage. we haven't put it away yet because I am still hallucinating him, but it will be away soon. i think I will keep his towel because he loved it, and I loved him. i am burying him with all of his favorite toys, and a bag of his favorite treats to bring to his next life. I was praying that my lord wouldn't let him die before I got back, but it seems it was just his time. i miss him so much